Javier Mayoral

Miami-based artist from Spain, pulpbrother.com

I dedicate this retablo to the Christ of the Cross for my family hasn’t yet found out that I’d been fired from my job in the Bank of Fomento because of a theft of quite a lot of thousands pesos. Now we are passing our time watching the super 8 mm films and remembering much happier times when we didn’t lack anything.

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Pioquinto Martinez had a very strong pain in the intestines. He spent 12 days in bed. He could eat, he couldn’t sleep, and no remedy would help him. He prayed to the image of the Holy Virgin of Anxieties, and she miraculously gave him back appetite and sleep.

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I thank the Virgin of Immaculate Conception because thanks to her I could practice a Wurlitzer piano at our parish and a piece I composed was chosen among 250 girls for the musical background of the radio commercial of a famous detergent.

I thank Neil Armstrong because when he was walking on the Moon I was performing my unusual jaw-balancing act in the Arizona desert.

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We thank the Virgin of Guadalupe because we managed to collect enough money to but a new needle for our record player. So now we can listen that album we have all the day on Sundays.

Hidalgo, March 1962

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Thanks to Saint Ursula I found the perfect 24-feet fiberglass masonic hand.

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I thank the Virgin of Candelaria because without her help I wouldn’t have been able to convince this pig my husband to burn his dirty collection of photos of naked women which he had been hiding very well.

Everything looked normal in my dream until Saint Rita of Cascia appeared holding the largest bottle of whiskey I had even seen.

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Our Lady of Lourdes miraculously appeared at the precise moment they were suspending my social media account for some sensitive content.

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I dedicate this retablo to the holy Virgin of Lourdes. Since I was a little girl I had my little dog called Lassy whom I loved greatly. She died at 18 years old. I thank the Virgin for I found a very good and cheap taxidermist who turned my Lassy back to me in three weeks, and she looked as if she were still alive.

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Thanks to Jesus my wife got up from the bed and let me sleep in peace.

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We thank Saint Jonas because we created a mixture of yoga and latin dance and we are going to open a couple of locations in Eastern New Jersey.

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I, don Alejandro Sotogrande, offer this retablo to the Virgin of the Holy Heart because thanks to her divine intervention I was able to beat this fool Faustino Rondo in cards and win all his property and his cattle. Now I’m the richest landowner in the whole Sonora.

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