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Javier Cervantes was making 69 with a fat girl, but she fainted from the excitement and began to suffocate him. He gives due thanks to Saint Elias with this retablo because he managed to push her off and promises not to visit brothels anymore.

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When I was at my aunt and uncle’s house to eat the king cake, I bite a piece and felt a figurine in my mouth. I wanted to swallow it so that I don’t have to pay for tamales on the Candlemas, but I choked instead. I thank Saint Charbel because my uncle Pancho knew first aid and saved my life. I promise not to do such things and to pay for tamales when I get figurine in a cake.

Mexico

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I put too much liquor in my punch at the Christmas party in my neighborhood. Since I was getting tipsy, I came where doña Juanita was about to hit the piñata and she gave me such a tremendous blow in the head that I even saw stars. I give thanks to the Virgin of Juquila because nothing serious happened and I only got a lump. I promise not to drink so much on these December holidays.

Lucio Pacheco, Puebla

Thank you, White Girl, for hearing my prayers and not letting my tacos stand to perish. I also thank the firemen squad for helping the people and for holding on during their job.

El Pelotas

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Ciriano Perez gives thanks because we were drowning in the lake but my piggies saved us.

Zumpango, December 4, 1950

In 1935, in Puebla, torero Pascual Luna was gored in his buttock. He was in bad condition. Since doctors couldn’t heal the wound, he implored the Virgin of San Juan and was cured. He gives infinite thanks for that with the present retablo.

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My daughter and I were having refreshments in the garden when our cat, while catching butterflies, pushed a flower pot that fell right on my head. I was seeing double and burry for few days after that. I though I’d go blind, and I prayed Saint Lucy. She worked a miracle, and my vision recovered. Now I see well again, and I thank for that.

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I got an idea to put rose petals and candles in the bedroom to revive the flame of passion with my wife. But I didn’t calculate it well and put the candles too close to the curtain, and it caught on fire. I thank Saint Jude for I managed to put out the fire before the entire house was burned up.

Roman Castañeda ~ Guaymas, Sonora

We thank you, Virgin of Juquila, for saving us and the bus from falling down the cliff.

Jasinto and Toño, Oaxaca, Mexico, 196*

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Monso, a tamer by profession, thanks the Virgin of Guadalupe for letting him successfully end his act after being attacked by his lion. He thanks for he managed to subdue the lion without anything bad happened, and he wholeheartedly asks to always protect him.

April 30, 1985

I thank Saint Peter for letting Salome Pineda who died in a car accident to come and eat the offerings on October 28, the day of the killed. I told her how much I love her and that she shouldn’t worry and that I look after her two sons from her third marriage.

The cuckold, 28–10–2000

I give immense thanks to the Virgin of Guadalupe who helped me when I fell of the boat and fainted. My dog Othello jumped into the water and drugged me until I gained my senses back and was able to get out.

Akumal, 2019

Claudio Rocha had an accident on his motorcycle and got paralyzed. However, his nurse was giving him such a good erotic massage, he got back on his feet in few months. He gives thanks to the Virgin.

Mexico, September 11, 2000