Saint Elias

San Elias

Enrique Sandoval used to slack off and didn’t pay his gambling debts. Until one day they caught him, beat him and even threatened to saw off his leg. He thanks Saint Elias they didn’t do it and promises to amend.

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Señora Alicia Vasquez used to have a dream about her late husband’s skeleton who came back from the dead and licked her feet. She thanks Saint Elias with the present retablo for delivering her from these nightmares.

Fernando Ramirez had a marvelous idea to smuggle cocaine in his stomach. But the customs officers found out about it and made him to expel it. Fernando gives thanks to Saint Elias because he found an excellent and influent attorney so he would get out of prison soon.

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Marcelo Gutierrez was repairing a toilet drainage when suddenly a stream of dirty water hit him in the face. He thanks Saint Elias with this retablo for he didn’t caught any serious infection.

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The barber Ernesto Carrasco was attacked in his own shop. He was defending himself and stabbed the attacked with the scissors. Ernesto thanks Saint Elias because they didn’t do anything to him for that and the attacker was arrested.

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In my age, I thought that the sex question had been closed for me and I was going to resign and to live an old man life in a tedious and boring way. I dedicate the present retablo to Saint Elias thanking him for having discovered these marvelous pills called viagra. Thanks to them I’m back to enjoy the pleasures of love, and I feel as masculine as when I was young.

Eugenio R.
Cancún, Quintana Roo

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Roberto Fernandez became homeless and in order to survive he had to eat pigeons in the park. People looked at him with disgust. He thanks Saint Elias for he managed to get out of this situation.

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I was very hurt because my boyfriend had cheated on me with another woman. So the other night, I went to drink at the bar. But I drank too much and totally lost my good sense. The next morning, I woke up in a motel room with a stranger. I thank Saint Elias for I didn’t get pregnant nor did I catch any sexually transmitted disease. I promise to be more responsible and not to do such stupid things anymore.

Ericka R.
Mérida, Yucatán

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R. G. enjoyed buying women clothes and wearing it until one day he was caught by his wife. He thanks Saint Elias for she was very understanding and even gives him her clothes now, and their sexual life has been improved greatly.

Joaquin Ramirez, a barber, got distracted by a pretty girl and cut a client. He thanks Saint Elias with this retablo for the client didn’t spread the word about it. Otherwise, he would’ve been ruined.

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Yolanda Ramirez forgot about a date with her boyfriend in a motel and ate a lot of beans. So when they finally met she couldn’t hold her massive farts. She thanks Saint Elias because her boyfriend—although he was a little bit annoyed—forgave her.

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1925, in San Bernardino, my buddy caught me on the mat with his wife. He started to shoot at us. I give infinite thanks to Saint Elias for no bullet hit me. She took them all.

Antonio Garcia worked on a skyscraper and was knocked down by a strong wind. He thanks Saint Elias with this retablo because the safety rope saved him from certain death.

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