Saint Elias

San Elias

The artist Gustavo B. once got drunk and painted the face of a horrible devil. Some time later he sold it for a lot of money. He thanks Saint Elias for this profit but promises to keep out of this theme.

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Gilberto Martinez loved when his wife gave him lashes. But one day she got out of hand and gave him hell. He thanks Saint Elias for healing up and promises to control his fetish.

Luis Ramirez taught karate. He wanted to show his skills by breaking many boards but ended up injuring his hand instead. He thanks Saint Elias with the present retablo for his hand healed quickly.

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Raul Fernandez couldn’t find a job and became a porn actor because he is hung like a donkey. With this retablo, he likes to thanks Saint Elias because he’s doing well, although sometimes he comes into conflict with his religion.

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Juan Carlos Herrerías brings this retablo to Saint Elias thanking him for big success he has every year dressing as Santa Claus, and the kids enjoy it very much.

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M.G. brings this retablo as gratitude to Saint Elias for getting pregnant after having sex with her partner on the river, although they were almost dragged by the current.

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Ruperto Pacheco was spying on the communal commissioner’s daughter while she was swimming in the river. But the branch broke off, and he fell into the water. He thanks Saint Elias with this retablo for he didn’t drown and the girl didn’t accuse him.

Chiautempan, 1920

Enrique Sandoval used to slack off and didn’t pay his gambling debts. Until one day they caught him, beat him and even threatened to saw off his leg. He thanks Saint Elias they didn’t do it and promises to amend.

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Señora Alicia Vasquez used to have a dream about her late husband’s skeleton who came back from the dead and licked her feet. She thanks Saint Elias with the present retablo for delivering her from these nightmares.

Fernando Ramirez had a marvelous idea to smuggle cocaine in his stomach. But the customs officers found out about it and made him to expel it. Fernando gives thanks to Saint Elias because he found an excellent and influent attorney so he would get out of prison soon.

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Marcelo Gutierrez was repairing a toilet drainage when suddenly a stream of dirty water hit him in the face. He thanks Saint Elias with this retablo for he didn’t caught any serious infection.

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The barber Ernesto Carrasco was attacked in his own shop. He was defending himself and stabbed the attacked with the scissors. Ernesto thanks Saint Elias because they didn’t do anything to him for that and the attacker was arrested.

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In my age, I thought that the sex question had been closed for me and I was going to resign and to live an old man life in a tedious and boring way. I dedicate the present retablo to Saint Elias thanking him for having discovered these marvelous pills called viagra. Thanks to them I’m back to enjoy the pleasures of love, and I feel as masculine as when I was young.

Eugenio R.
Cancún, Quintana Roo

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