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I dedicate this ex-voto to the Holy Heart of Jesus thanking for my wife never found out the truth why I had a heart attack. I used to spy at nights on my sister-in-law when she went to sleep. She stripped herself down and took photos with her phone. I was so turned on my heart couldn’t take it anymore. Now I’m fine, and I don’t regret. I enjoyed it all and no one will take it from me because this damn broad is hot.

The Voyeur
Coyoacan, Mexico City, 2002

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Enrique Fernandez loved to spy on his cousins swimming in the river until one day he was caught and given his just deserts. He thanks Saint Charbel for he wasn’t kicked out and promises to behave well.

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I give you infinite thanks, Saint James the Apostle, for having a natural beauty and the body. Thanks to my look I have a lot of job as an art model for artists and photographers, and, with the money they pay me, I can cover my university studies.

Ana M.
Guanajuato, Mexico

Vulmaro Ramirez thanks with this retablo for saving him from the attack of the crocodile girl who got in my house and scared me.

Mexico, July 11, 1974

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The chemist Rosa M. was caught in the laboratory while fucking with her boyfriend. She thanks Saint Helen with this retablo for she wasn’t fired but just severely punished. So now she will behave herself.

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Isabel Ramirez was having sex with the baker. But then came his wife and in anger hit Isabel with a rolling pin sending her to the hospital. Isabel thanks Saint Patrick for her recovery and for she didn’t become idiot.

Marcelita Garcia was preparing mole at the kitchen and accidentally pinched her tit in the mortar. She was badly bruised and nothing could help her. She implored Saint Paschal, and the tit got healed very soon. She thanks for that.

Puebla, 1920

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When I was swimming, two beautiful mermaids appeared. They were flirting with me waving their tails and splashing in the water. I was taken with their iridescent beauty. I stopped for a moment, they came closer to me and then pulled me down to the bottom. I was lacking air, so I prayed Saint Barbara. She might have come to help me because I think I fainted and then woke up on the beach. I thank for being alive.

A ghost wants to marry me. Please help me, Holy Virgin!

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Saint Jude Thaddeus, thank you for all your favors. It seemed I was loosing my mind when I got in the river completely naked. One and half year before, my boyfriend Pepe had drowned at the very same place. A lady saw me there and reported to the police. They came looking for me, and then I spent three days at a police station until my mother and my sister came after me. They payed the fine, and then I was taken from there with the psychologist. Few months later, I was doing better mentally, since I had been at the edge of going crazy.

Angela Moreno
Cuernavaca, Morelos, 1965

Armando B. loved experimenting with his girlfriend in bed. But one day she put a strap-on on in order to fuck Armando. He thanks Saint Sebastian de Aparicio for having the courage to send her to hell. Now he has a normal girlfriend.

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I thank you, Virgin of San Juan, for your favors. I had vacations and decided to visit my cousins in Michoacan. On my road to them I saw a completely naked woman sitting on a rock. When I got closer, she changed her color. It was, no more no less, the devil himself. I entrusted myself to the Holy Virgin, grabbed my cross and the devil disappeared in the air right away.

Maximino Arroyo, 1975

I thank the Virgin of Guadalupe because the hospital cleaning lady arrived right in time before the doctor would have raped me taking advantage of my helpless condition.

Conchita Benitez Rojas
Chimaltenango, 1967

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