— tagged with “girls”

Ambrosio Herrera was spying on his master’s daughter while she was swimming in the river. Suddenly the branch broke off, and he fell down. He thanks Saint Charbel for he didn’t drown and the girl didn’t accuse him.

Puebla, 1920

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I give thanks to Saint Dolly, for leading me towards my perfect truck, which I have graced with your name and image. I enjoy many epic roadtrips and adventures with uberbabes and trucksluts in the Big Dolly truck.

Melbourne, 2019

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I give infinite thanks to Saint Peter with this simple exvoto for having spent the three best days of my life on a desert island with two gringo tourists. I took them for a ride, and my boat broke down, and it took a long time to rescue us, so I took a rest from cries and complaints of my crazy wife.

Inocencio Cortes ~ Acapulco, Guerrero

When I came to the city to study in the university I didn’t have enough money to pay rent by myself alone. I found out that one girl, my fellow student, was looking for a girl neighbor to share an apartment with. Then I got an idea to tell her that I’m a gay so she would accept me. I give thanks to Saint Patrick because she didn’t find out that I’m a heterosexual so I could enjoy looking at her almost naked for she is very beautiful.

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Señorita Aleida Nuñez gives thanks to the Virgin of Guadalupe because on August 21, 2013, her Facebook profile photo got 1000 likes and now she enjoys many suitors. Amen.

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I’m a high preparatory school math teacher, and I had a student who was flirting with me so that I would give her good grades because she was a bad student. I thank Saint Thomas Aquinas for the principal gave me another class because the girl began to wear daring clothes and harass me which could bring me professional problems and with my wife as well.

Rafael Barrios ~ Monterrey, Nuevo Leon

As a poor young girl, Maria Guzman dreamed of owning many pairs of fancy shoes. After passionately invoking Our Merciful Lady of Prada, aria found employment at Payless Shoe Store where she is able to purchase a wide variety of the most fashionable styles at a substantial employee discount. For this wonderful event she is most exceedingly grateful and she dedicates this retablo.

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I dedicate this humble retablo to Saint Clare for having won the lottery. I bought a ticket and was lucky to win a jackpot. When I was poor no woman wanted even to talk with me cause I was ugly. But now when I’m a millionaire, the most beautiful women going after me. I can go out with everyone I want, and they see me as a handsome guy.

Anacleto Perez ~ Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco

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Thank you, Virgin, because you made me with light eyes. Thanks to that they let me in the clubs right away, I got a nice job and have a lot of chicks. Not like my poor brother whom you made with dark eyes.

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I left the uni and, while walking, was checking my facebook on my new cel that my daddy gave me on my b-day. Suddenly a robber jumped on me, grabbed my phone and ran away. Thousand thanks to Saint Jude Thaddeus because a super cool cop was passing by. He caught the dude and returned me my cel. I promise to Saint Jude to be more careful because this experience wasn’t cool at all.

Katy Perez ~ Puebla

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I had a very low self-esteem because I had no butt. My friends were laughing at me lacking curves and were giving me nicknames. I thank Saint Charbel because I managed to save enough money for my implants. Now I feel myself very attractive with my new butt, my friends are jealous of me and I have a lot of suitors.

Leonor Lara — Iztapalapa, Mexico City

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I’m thanking Saint John Bosco with this simple retablo because my girl friends don’t know my secret. They are so beautiful, and I lied them that I’m a gay to be near them. In this way I can stay with them all day, gawking at them, hugging them, and they don’t suspect that they attract me.

Javi Valencia
Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco

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When I was 15 years old, I was very much worried about my appearance. One day I was walking down the street near a troop of soldiers. The officer saw me and ordered: “Eyes right!” And they all turned their heads in my direction! Since then I have lost all my complexes. Thanks to my Guardian Angel for sending me this officer.

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