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I’m gay but my family doesn’t know about it because they wouldn’t understand me. I even get a girlfriend so they wouldn’t suspect anything. But she insisted on intimacy. So one night I was going to try it but at the end couldn’t do it. I’m infinitely thankful to Saint Sebastian because she didn’t get angry and we remained good and confident friends. She promised me to not reveal my secret.

Saúl N.
Mexicali, Baja California

I thank the Holiest Sun in Aquarius for blessing me with a sculpturesque face and a responsive body. When I walk down the street all the men look at me and say “How classy you are!” This is so rare.

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My class had low scores because they were very rebellious and didn’t pay attention when I explained the material. Then I got an idea to dress up more provocatively and use my woman features. I give thanks to Saint Patrick for this idea because my class has improved their grades and I no longer have the High School Principal’s pressure on me.

Miss Nadia
Monterrey, Nuevo Leon

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I dedicate this ex-voto to the Holy Heart of Jesus thanking for my wife never found out the truth why I had a heart attack. I used to spy at nights on my sister-in-law when she went to sleep. She stripped herself down and took photos with her phone. I was so turned on my heart couldn’t take it anymore. Now I’m fine, and I don’t regret. I enjoyed it all and no one will take it from me because this damn broad is hot.

The Voyeur
Coyoacan, Mexico City, 2002

Enrique Fernandez loved to spy on his cousins swimming in the river until one day he was caught and given his just deserts. He thanks Saint Charbel for he wasn’t kicked out and promises to behave well.

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Delfina Hernandez dedicates this humble retablo to Saint Barbara in sign of gratitude for her master pays her very good for her discretion so she won’t tell her wife about his infidelity, when he brings home young girls taking advantage of his wife’s absence. With this extra-money, she could help more to her family which stays back in her village.

Guadalajara, Jalisco

Benjamin Rojas loved to pretend to be a sleepwalker so he can go around and grope his neighbors. But one day they got fed up with him and called the police. Benjamin thanks Saint James for this lesson and promises to amend himself.

I give infinite thanks to Saint Sebastian de Aparicio with the present retablo because I could find a good job near my house. Before I had to take the subway few times every day. I suffered a lot with all the touching, groping and pushing and, on top of that, with the smell of the people who wouldn’t bath. Now I’m done with this torment.

Cecilia Godinez, Mexico City

Felipa R. and Teofila M. were competing for a man, so they fought hitting each other with flip-flops at the washing place. The both thank Saint Charbel with this retablo because they have realized what a nonsense it was and have dumped this potbellied fatso.

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I dedicate this retablo to Saint Barbara thanking for I’m not pregnant. My periods were delayed, so I bought a pregnancy test. I was frightened to see the result since I had no idea who might be the father. The thing is lately I had affairs with my neighbor, my friend from the university and even a professor. But now I’m relieved, since the result turned to be negative.

Emilia T.
Torreon, Coahuila

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I’m infinitely grateful to Saint John Bosco because very year they invite me to the annual beach beauty contest as a judge. Here I can look over and admire the beautiful girls without being criticized for it by people. This is what I like.

Hernan Caballero
Cancun, Quintana Roo

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When my girlfriend and I were walking in the park, a stunning blonde girl passed near by. I couldn’t help it and looked at her legs. Bad luck, my girlfriend noticed it and gave me a tremendous blow in the head. I thank Saint Marta because I managed to talk it over with my girlfriend so she didn’t dump me over this embarrassing misunderstanding.

Joaquin Herrera
Tampico, Tamaulipas

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I dedicate this humble retablo to Saint Patrick for having won the lottery. I bought a ticket and won a jackpot. When I was poor no woman wanted even to talk with me cause I was ugly. But now when I’m a millionaire, the most beautiful women looking for me. I can go out with everyone I want, and they see me as a handsome guy.

Anacleto Perez
Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco

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