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With this humble retablo, I thank Saint Patrick for my good physique. Thanks to my natural beauty I had a good job as a model and I earn very good money, although I didn’t even finish the primary school.

Nayeli Sandoval / Mexico City

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Miss Gudelia Zavaleta loved to flirt with her neighbors until one day one of them got into her window while being drunk. She thanks the Virgin of San Juan for he wasn’t able to rape her.

I thank Saint Rita for helping me to save money for a California King bed. Now I can put two men in my bed at once without feeling cramped.

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I share an apartment with my friend. When she had a boyfriend and they made love they wouldn’t let me sleep at night with their noise, screams and moans. They didn’t care that I had to wake up early. I thank Saint Dorothy for my friend broke up with her boyfriend, and now, when I got a boyfriend, I take revenge having outrageous sex so she could feel the same I did and would be more sensible in the future.

Mariela N.

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My wife insisted that I go to the gym to exercise in order to get rid of my belly. But I was very lazy. I give thanks to Saint Pancras for finally going there because there are a lot of very beautiful girls with excellent bodies at the gym and whenever I go there I always have a very nice sight.

Rafael Salas \ Apodaca, Nuevo Leon

I thank the Holiest Sun in Aquarius for blessing me with a sculpturesque face and a responsive body. When I walk down the street all the men look at me and say “How classy you are!” This is so rare.

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My class had low scores because they were very rebellious and didn’t pay attention when I explained the material. Then I got an idea to dress up more provocatively and use my woman features. I give thanks to Saint Patrick for this idea because my class has improved their grades and I no longer have the High School Principal’s pressure on me.

Miss Nadia
Monterrey, Nuevo Leon

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I dedicate this ex-voto to the Holy Heart of Jesus thanking for my wife never found out the truth why I had a heart attack. I used to spy at nights on my sister-in-law when she went to sleep. She stripped herself down and took photos with her phone. I was so turned on my heart couldn’t take it anymore. Now I’m fine, and I don’t regret. I enjoyed it all and no one will take it from me because this damn broad is hot.

The Voyeur
Coyoacan, Mexico City, 2002

Enrique Fernandez loved to spy on his cousins swimming in the river until one day he was caught and given his just deserts. He thanks Saint Charbel for he wasn’t kicked out and promises to behave well.

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Delfina Hernandez dedicates this humble retablo to Saint Barbara in sign of gratitude for her master pays her very good for her discretion so she won’t tell her wife about his infidelity, when he brings home young girls taking advantage of his wife’s absence. With this extra-money, she could help more to her family which stays back in her village.

Guadalajara, Jalisco

Benjamin Rojas loved to pretend to be a sleepwalker so he can go around and grope his neighbors. But one day they got fed up with him and called the police. Benjamin thanks Saint James for this lesson and promises to amend himself.

I give infinite thanks to Saint Sebastian de Aparicio with the present retablo because I could find a good job near my house. Before I had to take the subway few times every day. I suffered a lot with all the touching, groping and pushing and, on top of that, with the smell of the people who wouldn’t bath. Now I’m done with this torment.

Cecilia Godinez, Mexico City

Felipa R. and Teofila M. were competing for a man, so they fought hitting each other with flip-flops at the washing place. The both thank Saint Charbel with this retablo because they have realized what a nonsense it was and have dumped this potbellied fatso.

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