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My boyfriend Jasinto and I were secretly seeing each other by the river for our lovemaking because my daddy didn’t let me have a boyfriend. But the other day, while we were making out, we saw someone passing by. I thank the Holy Lord of Chalma for it was only my grandfather who cannot see very well, so he didn’t notice us. Otherwise, things with my family would have gone very terrible for me.

Lupita R. ~ Morelia, Michoacan

I have always been a very serious and calm man. But when I got to my 50 I realized I hadn’t enjoyed many pleasures of life. One day I went crazy and fulfilled my fantasy of being with three women at the same time. I’m infinitely grateful to Saint Expeditus for inspiring me to do that because now, when I’m locked up inside in quarantine, it’s comforting to know that, although I was older, it was real fun.

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The grandfather climbed a tree out of stubbornness but he fell, got a terrible blow and broke his hips. He was very sad he couldn’t walk. We thank Saint James because Frida the painter elevated his spirit when she visited us.

Maria Ruis
Puebla, 1943

Thanks, Virgin, because in my 80 years I’ve found my real love.

Lencho Avilla

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My mom caught COVID-19, and I was very much worried because of her advanced age. With all my heart, I thank Our Mother Maria of Guadalupe because my mom recovered and got out of the hospital. With the same faith, I ask to look after the doctors and nurses who are risking their lives with the patients with this terrible virus.

Mexico, 2020

Hey, you must be crazy, people! Yes, I prayed to both of you, but dam! Chill already. I’m just trying to say thanks and send some gratitude your way for helping me to heal my grandfather’s stomach pain but you two are being assholes! It sucks! Enough already or you get nothing!

#wtf #ay #healer #toughbroad #huitzilopochtli #jesuschrist #smh

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I dedicate the present retablo to Saint Paschal Baylon thanking him because my grandmother Petra instilled me love for the kitchen since childhood. She was a great cook, and I inherited this from her. I discovered my vocation, and I’m a professional chef now. I proudly bring the taste of the traditional Mexican cuisine to the entire world.

Catalina Muñoz \ Oaxaca, Mexico

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Lord of the Miracles, I offer you this retablo so you’d protect my grandson from rats and not let them bite him when he stays at home alone because my daughter goes to work. I came to visit them and found my grandson crying. I scared the rats away. They didn’t hurt him, and I will be always grateful for that.

Grandmother Nicolasa
Barrio Norte, Mexico City, 2007

The widow Ana Maria Rivera brings the present retablo to Saint Anthony thanking him for, despite being 80 years old and having 13 kids, she still found her love.

San Nicolas, 1917

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I’m very happy in my old age. Thank you, Virgin of Guadalupe.

Pedro Zamora, 1975

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My great-grandmother is so old, she couldn’t remember how old is she. One day she asked me to let the birds that lived in her house free. They were making so her happy but she said I must to do it so the birds would open the path for her soul since she was thinking she was about to die. I freed the birds, and they flew to the sky. But later they all came back, they stayed in my great-grandmother’s garden and kept making her happy flying in the trees.

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Señora Maria Tereza de la Garza lived alone. One day she fell and couldn’t get up. She thanks Saint Patrick because one and half-day later her neighbor heard her screaming and came to help.

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Gilberto Velazquez was badly infected with lice and was even expelled from the school because of that. The boy thanks the Virgin of San Juan because his grandmother gave him a homemade remedy. All lice were gone, and he didn’t have to go bald.