Jesus Christ

Señor Jesucristo

I was so ill in the hospital that the doctors didn’t have hopes to keep me alive. I thank Our Lord Jesus Christ who, in his infinite mercy, worked a miracle and brought my health back to me. May you be blessed.

2021

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Thank you Jesus for I didn’t kill my grandma after I jumped wearing my supergirl cape. I really thought I could fly. But now I know I can’t believe everything I see on tv.

Flying girl, 6 years

I hate Christmas, so that afternoon I decided to go for a walk instead of the typical dinner. In the park, I met David who also hates Christmas, and since then we have been together thanks to Jesus.

Cecilie M., 24–12–2018, Oslo

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Since I bought my smartphone, I was facing the screen waiting for the likes on Facebook. I was like a zombie. I thank Jesus for freeing me from this addiction.

Sunniva Hansen
19.08.2018, Oslo, Norway

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I knew it! I suspected that my girlfriend was unfaithful to me. So I started spying on her. Thanks to Jesus because now I know that she is not worth it and now I have the pretext to send her to hell.

Olav Hansen
17–07–2018, Bergen, Norway

Allen Ginsberg and Jesus Christ talking about poetry.

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I thank Jesus because I’ve become the most popular transsexual with the most followers on YouTube.

Tina Eriksson. Oslo, 2018

To our Lord Jesus Christ, I ask to forgive me for what I did when I found out that the priest abused my son. But since neither the church nor the government have done anything after so many similar cases, I did it.

Filomeno M., 13–11–2018

That tragic day—Tuesday, July 17, 1928—when I was attending a big banquet in “La Bombilla” restaurant honoring the elected president Alvaro Obregon who, being curious about some drawings shown to him, look at them, and Leon Toral killed him. After the shock, I entrusted his life to Christ the King, and he will forgive that young man because only God and he himself know why he did it.

Jesus Cristobal, waiter at the place
San Angel, Mexico

I thank Jesus for having invented Tinder. Since then I found a way to be invited to eat out at good restaurants every day.

Vicky C.
USA, 2009

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Jesus Christ talking to David Lynch.

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Lord Jesus of the heaven, my mommy told me I got to ask you to forgive me because the other day she caught me stroking my cock in my room in front of your holy cross and you got very angry with me. She said I lack respect to you, but it’s not true because I didn’t see that you could see me from your cross. Please forgive me, Christ Jesus, and I won’t touch myself in front of you ever again.

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God Jesus Christ, I thank you and offer you this because you’re always kind to me. You’re always hanging on the wall, watching and looking after me, with your skin so white and soft, with your long hair all in sweat, and your blood going down your stomach always reminding me about how I make you suffer and you are so good to me. Thanks, and I remain your slave awaiting your coming.

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