— tagged with “hospital”

The young man Humberto Ortiz thanks Saint Pancras with this retablo for helping him to win the hamburger eating contest. He received a delicious price, although he got in the hospital after the contest.

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M. G. ended up in the hospital because she got very excited while masturbating with a bottle and couldn’t take it out. She infinitely thanks Saint Raymond for overcoming this embarrassment and for her body wasn’t seriously injured.

Rodrigo Guzman came home drunk and without keys. Therefore he got an idea to break a window with his hand but cut himself so badly that he ended up in the hospital. He thanks the Virgin of San Juan for his recovery and promises to cut back on booze.

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The old man Felipe Suarez wanted to go after young chicks and took three viagras. He got it so hard, he had to go to the hospital. He thanks Saint Augustine for his cock didn’t explode and promises to not go crazy with prostitutes.

Rafael Calderon was very cruel with the horses, and it ended with a tremendous horse-kick that sent him to the hospital. He thanks Saint Francisco of Assisi for the recovery and promises to treat the animals better.

My husband and I dedicate this retablo to Carlos Manuel Rodriguez Santiago. When I got sick in 1981, I was diagnosed with incurable malign lymphoma. We went to Boston for treatment but kept praying to Saint Charlie Rodriguez every day and night. Two weeks later, just before the treatment, doctors checked me again and didn’t find any trace of lymphoma. They couldn’t explain the miracle of my healing.

When my husband got very ill and I didn’t know where to find money to take him to the hospital, the Virgin of Guadalupe gave me the inspiration to cut all the flowers in my garden and go sell them at the tianguis market. I sold them all and look my Juan to the doctor, and he was cured promptly.

I always enjoyed the speed and strong emotions. But then I got in a terrible crash on my motorcycle. I suffered multiple fractures and spent several weeks in the hospital. I dedicate this retablo to Saint Barbara thanking her for that crash because that way I met a gorgeous nurse who made my recovery very pleasant. Now, when I’m recovered I’ve even invited her to go dancing.

Ricardo Salas \ Merida, Yucatan

German Robledo was painting his neighbor naked. But then came her boyfriend and beat him up. WIth this retablo, German thanks Saint Patrick for he has already come out of the hospital and has presented charges against him.

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I didn’t understand my dream at all but it looked a lot like one of those Mexican retablos with a guy on a hospital bed with a doctor and a nurse by his side and Jesus Christ crucified to the left.

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He was refereeing a street soccer match and was attacked by various players while marking a penalty. They sent him to the hospital. He thanks Saint John Bosco because he’s recovered and the culprits are in jail.

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I thank the Virgin of Sorrows, because since I have been appointed the Cardinal of Puebla, the children that I visit in the hospital don’t cry like crazy anymore when they see me coming to give them the blessing.

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Isabel Ramirez was having sex with the baker. But then came his wife and in anger hit Isabel with a rolling pin sending her to the hospital. Isabel thanks Saint Patrick for her recovery and for she didn’t become idiot.