Ruperto Pacheco was spying on the communal commissioner’s daughter while she was swimming in the river. But the branch broke off, and he fell into the water. He thanks Saint Elias with this retablo for he didn’t drown and the girl didn’t accuse him.

Chiautempan, 1920

The sisters R. and A. Ortega loved to have orgies with the soccer team. But one day they were caught by a coach who told everything to their parents. The sisters thank the Virgin of San Juan with this retablo for they weren’t kicked out of the house but only scolded.

The other day, I was working at the construction site, and a very beautiful girl was passing by. I couldn’t resist and made some flirtatious compliments to her. My bad luck, I didn’t notice the cement dropping out of my cart and felling right on the engineer. I thank Saint Martin the Cavalryman because the engineer turned out to be a good man. He didn’t kick me out and saw the whole situation with humor. I promise to not flirt in working hours.

Nabor Rodriguez \ Puebla

With this humble retablo, I thank Saint Patrick for my good physique. Thanks to my natural beauty I had a good job as a model and I earn very good money, although I didn’t even finish the primary school.

Nayeli Sandoval / Mexico City

Miss Gudelia Zavaleta loved to flirt with her neighbors until one day one of them got into her window while being drunk. She thanks the Virgin of San Juan for he wasn’t able to rape her.

I thank Saint Rita for helping me to save money for a California King bed. Now I can put two men in my bed at once without feeling cramped.

I share an apartment with my friend. When she had a boyfriend and they made love they wouldn’t let me sleep at night with their noise, screams and moans. They didn’t care that I had to wake up early. I thank Saint Dorothy for my friend broke up with her boyfriend, and now, when I got a boyfriend, I take revenge having outrageous sex so she could feel the same I did and would be more sensible in the future.

Mariela N.

My wife insisted that I go to the gym to exercise in order to get rid of my belly. But I was very lazy. I give thanks to Saint Pancras for finally going there because there are a lot of very beautiful girls with excellent bodies at the gym and whenever I go there I always have a very nice sight.

Rafael Salas \ Apodaca, Nuevo Leon

I’m gay but my family doesn’t know about it because they wouldn’t understand me. I even get a girlfriend so they wouldn’t suspect anything. But she insisted on intimacy. So one night I was going to try it but at the end couldn’t do it. I’m infinitely thankful to Saint Sebastian because she didn’t get angry and we remained good and confident friends. She promised me to not reveal my secret.

Saúl N.
Mexicali, Baja California

I thank the Holiest Sun in Aquarius for blessing me with a sculpturesque face and a responsive body. When I walk down the street all the men look at me and say “How classy you are!” This is so rare.

My class had low scores because they were very rebellious and didn’t pay attention when I explained the material. Then I got an idea to dress up more provocatively and use my woman features. I give thanks to Saint Patrick for this idea because my class has improved their grades and I no longer have the High School Principal’s pressure on me.

Miss Nadia
Monterrey, Nuevo Leon

I dedicate this ex-voto to the Holy Heart of Jesus thanking for my wife never found out the truth why I had a heart attack. I used to spy at nights on my sister-in-law when she went to sleep. She stripped herself down and took photos with her phone. I was so turned on my heart couldn’t take it anymore. Now I’m fine, and I don’t regret. I enjoyed it all and no one will take it from me because this damn broad is hot.

The Voyeur
Coyoacan, Mexico City, 2002

Enrique Fernandez loved to spy on his cousins swimming in the river until one day he was caught and given what he deserved. He thanks Saint Charbel for he wasn’t kicked out and promises to behave well.