Christopher Rodriguez Contreras

Gaudencio Blanco pays with this exvoto giving thanks to the Virgin of Guadalupe who saved me from a flying saucer.

Xaltocan, 1925

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Hector Alberto and Felipe Pineda pay with this retablo giving thanks to the Souls of the Purgatory because we are so faggot and happy and quite crazy. Viva el Amor!

Christopher Swiggum pays to the Virgin of Guadalupe with this retablo because, after many efforts, I managed to finish my studies in Edgewood College which is the school of evil because it cost me a lot to finish it.

July 10, 2020

Pascual Ramirez thanks the Holy Face of God for his wife Petra Soto didn’t see him when she converted into a martian because she scared me very much.

Coyoacan, 1979

Candido Ramos pays the Virgin of Guadalupe with this ratable for saving me from a crab-man who wanted to drown me when the tide took me to the open sea; but I implored you, Holy Virgin, and you looked after me.

Acapulco, 1962

I, Raul Contreras Avila, pay with this exvoto to the Holy Face giving infinite thanks for the devil didn’t do me any harm when I was taking bath, as I was naked and all alone and got very much scared.

Mexico City, 1988

Rosaura Morales pays with this retablo to the Virgin of Guadalupe because when I converted into mermaid I didn’t hurt my family, and I pay for that with this.

Michoacan, 1917

I, Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador, pay with this exvoto to the Holy Heart giving infinite thanks for I’m such a whore and live crazy and don’t care what the people say.

Macuspana, 1982

I, Juan Gomez, pay with this retablo giving infinite thanks for not dying drowning in Rio Bravo when I tried to cross it to the United States to get my American dream. I couldn’t do it because of this racist Donald Trump, but I had a dream in which I saw a skeleton pulling Trump to the hell for being such a pig. Viva Mexico, bastards!

May 18, 2019

Drunk skeletons appeared to Rafael Contreras, they wanted to make him drunk with tequila. But he implored the Holy Face and got free from them.

Guadalajara, 1955

I, Zuleyma Nava, pay with this exvoto thanking for my Piolo stopped whoring and taking bath and jerking his weener with his friend Cholo. I pay with this in gratitude for fulfilling my request. Thanks.

Mexico City, 1989

I, Cipriano Rodriguez, give thanks because I finally got me a mermaid. I dreamt about her so much because I’m a fat, ugly cross-eyed man.

Mexico City, 1970

Panfilo Hurtado was in the field when a very horrible monster appeared to him and wanted to abduct him. But he prayed the Holy Heart and was saved.

Michoacan, 1936

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