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I’m sorry for taking advantage of our neighborhood ice-cream man’s distraction. I thank the God of Machete for showing me that one can be cool without stealing. I’m sorry, mr. ice-cream man!

1st. generation Ph. D. Anthropolooney

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I give thanks to Saint Jude Thaddeus for granting me the freedom. I was arrested for taking money for the lottery tickets I’d sold. But you know well that I took them to buy Christmas presents for my children. I did it because they’ve never received presents. And today, January 6, my boss found out the truth and withdrew his complaint saying that I’m innocent because he was also a boy once and he’s also a father.

Mexico City, 1968
Melchor Garcia Baltazar

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I promise you, Virgin of Guadalupe, that I won’t steal money from my mother to drink mezcal anymore.

Abuncio Villa

When my husband left me, I became a beggar. But I was unlucky because a pickpocket monkey stole my alms. I asked the Child of Atocha for help, and thanks to him the thief monkey and I became partners. Now the monkey shares the loot with me. The things are going very well, and I even have extra money to donate to the Holy Child.

Fresnillo

Some thieves got in the doña Luz Rodriguez’ house while she was away on a trip. Thanks to the Virgin of Zapopan the gendarme Romualdo Castro had fixed a date with his girlfriend one hour before his shift right on the corner. Thanks to that he was present when the thieves were escaping from the balcony. He managed to catch and arrest them very cunningly. Doña Luz thanks and prays for those in blue uniforms who give the security.

La Conchita, 1960

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A monkey steals fruits. Look after it, Virgin.

Gudelia, 1978

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It seemed an easy thing to rob an old abandoned house. But I didn’t know that the house was haunted. Suddenly the furniture began to move by itself, the doors and windows opened which gave me goosebumps. I dedicate this retablo to Saint Benedict because I escaped safe and sound from this house. I promise I’d be a good man and won’t steal ever again.

Elias R. — Queretaro, Mexico

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Thank you, Saint Rita, for giving me comfort after my lover dumped me. Although, between you and me, what upsets me the most is that he took the piggy bank with my savings.

Dulce Carmona

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Teofilo Martinez’ canary, which was very important to him, was stolen while he went to the bar to take a leak. He implored Saint John Bosco and the next day found the bird. He’s happy to be with it and gives thanks.

Puebla, 1945

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Francisco Ramirez was caught while robbing a shop. The people was about to lynch him. He thanks Saint Elias with this retablo for the authorities came in time to save him from death.

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Some scoundrels stole a guitar from the street musician Sebastian Garcias. He thanks the Lord of Wonders because he was able to chase them and get his instrument back.

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Señora Adriana Jimenez used to steal clothes of other people until one day she was caught and got what she deserved. She thanks Saint Rita with this retablo for she wasn’t thrown in jail and promises to amend.

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A spaceship landed in the village. The martians were taking the poultry from every person because no one could see them because they made themselves invisible. I thank the Holy Spirit for my dog smelled them and began to bark. The martians got scared so much they lost their invisibility, and then I could saw them. I chased them with my broom. They ran to their ship without my animals.