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I’d like to thank Saint Emerald who has protected me and didn’t let me die during the quarantine because I didn’t listen anyone and kept going out on the street to sell my products—I deal with an artificial butter from India. With my earnings, I went to secret parties. No neighbor reported us, no police came over, so I could always get laid with the most flexible bodies of my neighborhood and didn’t catch an AIDS. I never wore my mask because I was always confident in Saint Emerald. I kissed people during the 210th [Independence celebration] and in the subway. I didn’t wear gloves or condoms, and the empty city seemed given entirely to my solitude and hangover. Also, I’d like to thank for all the protection given me by the saints because I didn’t follow the protocol and secretly crossed sanitary cordons, and I have never—never—got COVID. I didn’t receive any paycheck, but this day Saint Emerald gave me a candy on the street.

Ultrazone, August 2020

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Unrested souls appear in the pulqueria-bar of don Juan. We beg you, Virgin of Guadalupe, to make them rest. The dead into the pits, the living to enjoy.

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At the Christmas party in the neighborhood, I put too much liquor in my punch. Since I was getting tipsy, I came where doña Juanita was about to hit the piñata and she gave me such a tremendous kick in the head that I even saw stars. I give thanks to the Lord of the Wonders because nothing serious happened to me and I only got a lump. I promise not to drink so much on December holidays.

Lucio Pacheco

My husband and I organized the New Year’s Eve party in our house. We all got drunk, and I ended up having sex with my husband’s colleague. I wholeheartedly thank Saint Raymond because my husband has never found out about it. Although I feel remorse, it was an emotional and exciting adventure.

I dedicate this retablo to the Miraculous Virgin of Guadalupe because on my 15-th birthday party, Maria Daniela and Andria performed but at the end of the song they reveled their true vampire identity. Luckily, I have my anti-vampire kit under my dress and I was able to beat them.

Karen, October 29, 2014

The other night I went partying with my friends and had a lot of shots. The next day I woke up in a motel room with an unknown chick. WIth all my heart, I dedicate this humble ex-voto to Saint Benedict thanking him for I didn’t get any sexual disease. I promise not to get laid with persons I’ve just met and not to abuse alcohol.

Leonardo N.

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To you, Virgin of Guadalupe, I entrust to rest the lost souls who appear in the bar.

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My buddy Jasinto is a drunkard, party goer, gambler and womanizer. Holy Virgin make him behave well and deliver him from hell.

With this humble retablo, I give infinite thanks to the Virgin of Juquila for protecting me on every November 2, because on this night my bar fills with the souls of the dead of the town who come very cheerful to celebrate their day with lots of music and mezcal.

Nicandro Tejeda ~ Oaxaca de Juarez, Mexico

My diagnosis of left ventricular hypertrophy made in a private clinic (during the medical tests) has been reasonably refuted in a municipal clinic. So now I can allow myself, with a light heart, not to count how many beer bottles I drink at the party. I thanks Saint Jude Thaddeus for that.

D. Babenko

My father didn’t like that I had a boyfriend, so Alejandro and I had to meet secretly. One night we were at the cemetery where no one could see us. We were sitting on a grave and talking when we heard a music. We saw the dead leaving their graves and having a party. They played instruments and danced. We were very much frightened. We thank the Virgin of Guadalupe for we could escape and the skeletons didn’t see us.

With this humble retablo, I thank the Holy Child of Atocha for protecting me on every November 2. This night my bar is filled with the souls of the dead from the village. They come very happy to celebrate their holiday with a lot of music and mezcal.

Ramiro Dominguez \ Zacatecas, Mexico

At the Christmas party in the neighborhood, I went to put some liquor in my punch. Since I was already tipsy I got into the piñata event and was kicked in the head. I give thanks to the Holy Child of Atocha because I got only the lump. I promise not to drink so much on December holidays.

Celedonio Hernandez \ Zacatecas, Mexico