I was coming back from a party when I met a couple of bastards. They wanted to beat me for being dude. I entrusted myself to you, Virgin of San Juan, asking to not let them do harm to me. Then a man arrived and defended me.

Ricardo “The Charisma”
Minas de Cristo, Mexico City
May 17, 2000

The Night of the Dead I was walking down the street. To my surprise, near the bar I bumped into a group of skeletons. They had a party and they invited me to join in. I prayed to Saint Jude for protection. The skeletons disappeared, and I went my way. I offer the retablo for this.

Espiridion Gonzalez

I give thanks to the Virgin of Zapopan because at the Christmas party that I had for my kids everything was fun and there were a lot of happy children.

The children from Saint Nicholas School thank Saint Nicholas because Spiderman was at their party and they had a lot of fun.

At the Christmas party in the neighborhood I went to put some liquor in my punch. Since I was already tipsy I got into the piñata event and was kicked in the head. I give thanks to Saint James the Apostle because I got only the lump. I promise not to drink so much.

Serapio Esparza
Oaxaca, 1968

I dedicate this retablo to the Miraculous Virgin because she had blessed me with an amazing similarity to the very famous Italian-American singer Frank Sinatra. Thanks to that I’m always in demand for celebrations, weddings and christening parties in the whole state of Zacatecas.

Saint Jude Thaddeus, thank you for your favors.

At one party, I met a Victor. I fell in love with him, and three months later he asked me to move in his place and live together. After that the nightmare started. He was very jealous and drank a lot. One time I met my friend form the childhood and said hello. And Victor went mad. He was furious, and when we arrived at home he beat me with a plank and chained me up. Next day, when he went at work, I tried to get free from the chain. I grabbed my personal things in a hurry and ran to my parents. We don’t want to report on him because we’re frightened he could harm us.

Maria Andrade
Mexico, 1966

I, Armando del Fresno, thank my dear Saint Anthony of Padua and dedicate this retablo to him for giving me courage to decide to reveal to my friends and relatives that I am a nudist. They accepted me for who I am. Now we meet and have tremendous parties every week.

On the night of November 2, 1982, my girlfriend Lupita and I went to a date to the cemetery, because my mother-in-law didn’t permit to Lupita to have suitors. We were alone chatting, when suddenly some skeletons appeared. They were dancing and playing some instruments. We got scared and promised not to come to the cemetery ever again. Thanks to the Virgin of Guadalupe we didn’t get sick and we even get married. So now we’re happy.

Amador Ramirez
El Aguila, Jalisco

Yolanda Ramos played spin the bottle. As a result, she got naked and having sex with a stranger who gave her a disease. Yolanda thanks Saint Martha for the recovery and promises not to drink anymore.

Adalberto Martinez was tired after work and when he was passing by the cemetery he lay down to have a rest and fell asleep. He was awake because of loud laughs and music. He saw that the dead men had risen from their graves and had a party. Adalbert entrusted himself to the Virgin of Guadalupe. Thanks to her he managed to escape unnoticed, because he was afraid they’d invite him to party and he would die out of fear.

Jasinta Dominduez was afraid to go at parties because she was fat. With this retablo, she thanks the Virgin of Guadalupe because she helped her to overcome her shyness, so now Jasinta dances at every party.

I give thanks and dedicate this retablo to the Virgin of Chapi, because, although she was hell of a broad, I resisted the temptation of abusing my sister-in-law Olga, when she fell asleep after my bachelor-party at which we both got drunk.