I dedicate this retablo to the Virgin Mary for helping me pick a gorgeus patent leather bikini online that looks great on me.

Acapulco, 3 March 2007

I dedicate this retablo to the Virgin Mary because I don’t have a hairy back anymore thanks to electrolysis.

It was a clear sign from heaven that the Virgin Mary appeared right when father John started unbuttoning his Roman Catholic cassock.

I, Donashi Azucena from Ejutla de Crespo, in honor and glory of Saint Mary and the Precious Blood of Christ, that protected me when I was being chased in the Labrador mountain and saw a seven-headed serpent. I prayed for salvation and managed to escape alive from that sacred place, although I hit my knee and some tumors appeared with fright after the strongest earthquake we ever had in the history of our state of Oaxaca, on January of 1931. Since then in my town we offer up a giant snake on the Daninyaaloani mountain to celebrate the opportunity of giving and receiving and the fact that we survived, although many compatriots died. I offer this retablo and thank from the bottom of my heart in September of 1932.

(2011)

I offer this retablo to the Virgin Mary because I finally found a personal assistant to help me when taking a bath and with other things.

My little daughter had horrible nightmares. I was worried when I heard her screaming. I prayed to the Virgin for help. The Virgin send her guardian angel who confronted the devils of the bad dreams. The angel chased them away from my little girl. Now she dreams calmly, with sweet dreams.

I thank the Virgin Mary because I was born with the brain of Marie Curie, the beauty of Jeanne Moreau and the kindness of Mother Teresa, Lady Diana or Maria Callas.

I am vey happy because I will not have to use my bus to go on tour with The Grateful Dead so I dedicate this retablo to the Virgin Mary.

Rafael Lujan mounted on a stubborn stallion and rode it to the edge of the ravine. He couldn’t restrain the stallion, and in this dangerous moment he invoked the Virgin Mary. She saved him from certain death, although he lost the hat.

I thank the Virgin Mary for helping me find a lending institution with a terrific group of mortgage brokers.

I thank the Virgin because in spite of my lack of musical talent, thanks to modern technology I can sample songs and make a living out of it.

We thank Virgin Mary for those phenomenal Italian neorealism movies.

I thank the Virgin for the amazing patent leather boots I found at the Salvation Army Thrift Store.