I am thankful to the Blessed Genius who invented Bunnings. These Australian hardware stores have become de facto quee clubs for DIY queers, especially lesbians, to meet each other. On any given weekend the inner Melbourne Bunnings are teeming with cute bitches & masc sorts ogling the power tools, & handsome types lining up for their Bunnings sausages (not a euphemism). It really is homo heaven.

Mr. Carlos Velez was attacked by a criminal. During the fight he started to strangle Carlos with the sausages. Carlos thanks the Virgin for he was saved by the police.

My son’s godfather used to turn into a werewolf during the full moon because he had been bitten by one. When his wife got sick and I had to visit her every night, I took a lot of sausages and stakes so the werewolf wouldn’t attack us. Thanks to the Virgin of the Rosary he did never bite me nor my son.

Virgin of San Juan, thank you because the doña Chole’s dog didn’t do any harm to me and only took sausages that my mother had asked me to buy.

Juan Manuel Nuñes
Tacubaya, Mexico City
August 1, 1980

My son Raul went to the market to buy sausages and on his way back he was attacked by an enormous dog, that jumped on him and knocked him down. I thank the Virgin of Zapopan because the beast only ate the sausages and the bread and didn’t bite my son.