James H. Eddy

This is San Lucas Evangelista, the patron saint of artists. I petition him every day to help me make good paintings. Sometimes I think he hears me. Sometimes I don’t.

September 3, COVID-21

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James Eddy gives infinite thanks to J & J, Pfizer, Moderna, Big Pharma, Dr Anthony Fauci, Joe Biden, healthcare workers and all the other miracle makers who made shit happen. My ticket out of hell — issued April 8, covid-21. San Francisco, California.

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In the year of 2019, in the city of San Francisco, James Eddy petitioned San Jesus Malverde, the patron saint of drug dealers for assistance. James gives infinite thanks that his supplier, a businessman who shall remain anonymous, respected his wishes to get sober and made no effort to peddle his product when James told him he was finished. James painted this retablo to commemorate the miracle of San Jesus Malverde’s intercession and James’ sobriety which commenced on December 31, 2019. Executed this first day of March 2021 in the City of San Francisco.

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James Eddy gives infinite thanks to Santa Cecilia, the patroness saint of music and musicians, for giving us Johnny Cash, Mac Miller, The Clash, Chilly Gonzales, Frank Zappa, Nina Simone, The Velvet Underground, Dan Hicks and his Hot Licks, Mose Allison, Radiohead, Hank Williams, Elliot Smith, Cotton Jones, Benjamin Biolay, Sebastian Tellier, Benjamin Francis Leftwich, Los Lobos, Joan Armatrading, Taj Mahal, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Mac DeMarco, Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats, Angus & Julia Stone, Jerry Garcia, The Beatles, Luciano Paverotti, Mick Jagger, Elvis Presley and Elvis Costello, Patsy Cline, Jimmy Hendrix, Robert Plant and Jimmy Page, Dylan, Clapton, Morphine (the band), Lyle Lovett, Dave Brubeck, William Fitzsimmons, Kurt Cobain, Kurt Vile, Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel, Meshell Ndegeocello, Sufjan Stevens, Ry Cooder, Vieux Farka Toure, Coldplay, Willie Nelson, Dr Dre, The Allman Brothers Band, Stevie Nicks, Tom Petty, Doc Watson, Nick Drake, Patricia Barber, Arcade Fire, Tim Hardin, Ella Fitzgerald, Beethoven’s 5th Symphony, 70′s Disco, The Waltz and the Dosey Doe, Louise Eddy on ukulele and Casey Kasem’s Top 40 countdown.

San Francisco, California. February 19, Covid-21

In the year of 1982, in the City of San Antonio, Jamie Eddy and his friend George Karutz, were home alone with Jamie’s younger brother, Prescott. The boys read that “Super Glue creates an incredibly strong adhesive bond that is nearly unbreakable”. Loctite cyanoacrylate broke the Guinness World Record by lifting a car weighing more than 5 tons with just 9 drops of adhesive. Jamie and George, eager to test the adhesive strength, glued young Prescott to the toilet, where he was discovered by Mr and Mrs Eddy upon returning home later that afternoon. In an effort to quell Prescott’s tears, Mrs Eddy served him ice cream while Mr Eddy raced to the hardware store to procure the necessary solvents to unseat him. Jamie, fearing the worst, petitioned San Felipe Neri, the patron saint of ludicrous pranks and Saint Bartholomew, the patron saint of dermatology, for assistance. He knew his prayer had been heard when the bond was broken and Prescott was emancipated. James Eddy painted this retablo to commemorate the miracle which occurred 39 years ago. Executed this ninth day of February 2021 in the City of San Francisco.

In the year of 1980, in the city of San Antonio, a young Jamie Eddy was afflicted with a spate of intense nosebleeds. His mother tried the usual home remedies, humidification, ointment, nasal spray and ice packs but they all failed to stop the hemorrhaging. The doctors performed chemical and electrical cauterization, painful procedures which Jamie endured with unflinching bravery, but they too failed to quell the torrent of blood. With little hope left, and even less blood, young Jamie petitioned Santa Teresa de Avila, the patroness saint of nose bleeds. He knew his prayers had been heard when the river of blood slowed to a trickle and then stopped altogether. James Eddy painted this retablo to commemorate the miracle which occurred 41 years ago. Executed this seventh day of February 2021 in the City of San Francisco.

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James Eddy had been a loyal customer of First Republic Bank since 2003, and had paid the bank in excess of one million dollars in mortgage interest over the course of his 16 year relationship. He had always been their greatest advocate. In the year of 2019, in the City of San Francisco James noticed some discrepancies in his checking account, which were later authenticated as not having been caused by anything he had done. Unbeknownst to James, an unauthorized person was writing fraudulent checks on his account, using their own name. When he discovered the anomalies and brought the discrepancies to the attention of his bank, rather than correct their own mistakes and offer an apology, which James would have accepted, they unceremoniously permanently closed ALL of his checking accounts. After a period of recovery, James petitioned Saint Matthew Apostle, the patron saint of financial matters, for assistance. Matthew instructed James first to spread the gospel and then to use his creative energy to warn others about their actions. Matthew counseled James to be thankful that this relationship had been severed given the bank’s unfaithful ways and the abandonment of their most basic fiduciary duties. James offers this retablo to commemorate the miracle of his survival and Saint Matthew’s divine intervention.

December 27, 2020, San Francisco, CA

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James suffered a devastating loss, so he prayed all his favorite saints that it would get better, and it did.

San Francisco, California, November 2020

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James Eddy gives infinite thanks to Louise Eddy for helping him find his voice.

San Francisco, CA
December 2020

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On September 11, 2020, James Eddy and his son Felix, age 16, went swimming at Bocana Beach. Felix reminded his father about the strong ocean current at the north end of the beach and insisted they both stay close to shore but James, as stubborn as a mule, and sometimes as stupid, did not heed his wise son’s warning about the currents and pushed out beyond the break. Within minutes James was upside down and ass backwards inside the barrel of a large wave. He tried to swim perpendicular to the current but it was too strong and each time he surfaced for air he was pummeled by another wave. James knew he was in big trouble so he raised his hands high over his head, screamed out for help and prayed hard for a miracle. After several more minutes, when he could barely keep his head above water, he saw Viridiana Martinez Rios paddling up behind him with a surf board and Flora Liz Martinez Rios wading outside the rocks. He grabbed onto the board and Viridiana steered him through the rocks and pushed him safely back to shore. James gives infinite thanks to the Rios family for saving his life that day. This retablo was created in honor of their heroic act and in commemoration of James’ miracle.

Bocana Beach, Santa Maria Huatulco, Oaxaca, Mexico.

James Eddy gives infinite thanks to God for clearing his cookies after he unknowingly ingested seven 15 mg ganja infused ginger snaps. True story—no bullshit.

San Francisco, California. December 2020

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James Eddy gives infinite thanks to his friends and family for helping him rebuild after the great fire.

Sausalito, California, July 2020

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In March 2016 James Eddy’s financial woes were mounting. He thought if he could work harder he could improve sales so he began to self medicate. After several sleepless months James convinced himself and then tried to convince his wife that he was under surveillance and a target of massive government investigation. Next year James was hospitalized and held in the psychiatric unit for evaluation. The nurse ordered James to fill a Dixie cup for tests and his discharge was contingent upon compliance but James was ashamed and terrified of his wife’s reaction if she learned the truth so he refused. A Mexican standoff ensued and on the eighth day the doctor blinked and nurse Ratchet cut James loose. It wasn’t long before his behavior became even more outrageous. Two officers came to his house to serve a stay away order with fifteen minutes to pack his bags and leave. The next several months he slept in his car and daily hotels when he could afford it. As time dragged on, and his situation grew more dire, he realized how badly he fucked up. He was wrong about many things. His good looks, charm and vivacious personality had not caught the attention of Angelina Jolie and despite his childhood dogs being named ‘William’ and ‘Harry’ he was not a member of the royal family. He missed his ex-wife and children so much he ached in his heart. James decided it was time to pick up the pieces of his life and turn over a new leaf so the new James told the old James to ‘fuck off.’ On December 31, 2019 he called out to God, his family and his friends and asked for their forgiveness. He got sober and in commemoration of this great miracle this retablo was offered.

San Francisco, California, February 27, 2020