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In the year of 1980, in the city of San Antonio, a young Jamie Eddy was afflicted with a spate of intense nosebleeds. His mother tried the usual home remedies, humidification, ointment, nasal spray and ice packs but they all failed to stop the hemorrhaging. The doctors performed chemical and electrical cauterization, painful procedures which Jamie endured with unflinching bravery, but they too failed to quell the torrent of blood. With little hope left, and even less blood, young Jamie petitioned Santa Teresa de Avila, the patroness saint of nose bleeds. He knew his prayers had been heard when the river of blood slowed to a trickle and then stopped altogether. James Eddy painted this retablo to commemorate the miracle which occurred 41 years ago. Executed this seventh day of February 2021 in the City of San Francisco.

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James Eddy had been a loyal customer of First Republic Bank since 2003, and had paid the bank in excess of one million dollars in mortgage interest over the course of his 16 year relationship. He had always been their greatest advocate. In the year of 2019, in the City of San Francisco James noticed some discrepancies in his checking account, which were later authenticated as not having been caused by anything he had done. Unbeknownst to James, an unauthorized person was writing fraudulent checks on his account, using their own name. When he discovered the anomalies and brought the discrepancies to the attention of his bank, rather than correct their own mistakes and offer an apology, which James would have accepted, they unceremoniously permanently closed ALL of his checking accounts. After a period of recovery, James petitioned Saint Matthew Apostle, the patron saint of financial matters, for assistance. Matthew instructed James first to spread the gospel and then to use his creative energy to warn others about their actions. Matthew counseled James to be thankful that this relationship had been severed given the bank’s unfaithful ways and the abandonment of their most basic fiduciary duties. James offers this retablo to commemorate the miracle of his survival and Saint Matthew’s divine intervention.

December 27, 2020, San Francisco, CA

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James suffered a devastating loss, so he prayed all his favorite saints that it would get better, and it did.

San Francisco, California, November 2020

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James Eddy gives infinite thanks to Louise Eddy for helping him find his voice.

San Francisco, CA
December 2020

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James Eddy gives infinite thanks to God for clearing his cookies after he unknowingly ingested seven 15 mg ganja infused ginger snaps. True story—no bullshit.

San Francisco, California. December 2020

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In March 2016 James Eddy’s financial woes were mounting. He thought if he could work harder he could improve sales so he began to self medicate. After several sleepless months James convinced himself and then tried to convince his wife that he was under surveillance and a target of massive government investigation. Next year James was hospitalized and held in the psychiatric unit for evaluation. The nurse ordered James to fill a Dixie cup for tests and his discharge was contingent upon compliance but James was ashamed and terrified of his wife’s reaction if she learned the truth so he refused. A Mexican standoff ensued and on the eighth day the doctor blinked and nurse Ratchet cut James loose. It wasn’t long before his behavior became even more outrageous. Two officers came to his house to serve a stay away order with fifteen minutes to pack his bags and leave. The next several months he slept in his car and daily hotels when he could afford it. As time dragged on, and his situation grew more dire, he realized how badly he fucked up. He was wrong about many things. His good looks, charm and vivacious personality had not caught the attention of Angelina Jolie and despite his childhood dogs being named ‘William’ and ‘Harry’ he was not a member of the royal family. He missed his ex-wife and children so much he ached in his heart. James decided it was time to pick up the pieces of his life and turn over a new leaf so the new James told the old James to ‘fuck off.’ On December 31, 2019 he called out to God, his family and his friends and asked for their forgiveness. He got sober and in commemoration of this great miracle this retablo was offered.

San Francisco, California, February 27, 2020

James Eddy gives infinite thanks to God for giving him a second chance at life after he went under.

San Francisco, CA
November, 2020

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In 2018 James Eddy joined the circus as a funambulist. Funambulism is the skill of maintaining balance while walking along a tensioned wire between two anchored points. In order to perfect his skill James began to practice his high wire act atop craggy mountain tops blanketed in snow and shimmering blue ice. One morning he was as high as a kite when ice crystals suddenly formed on his wire causing him to lose his footing and descend into a deep canyon terminating into a fiery pit near the center of the earth. James was badly hurt and hardly able to walk on his own for more than a year. His situation became dire and he knew he was in too deep so he petitioned San Mateo Gonzalez, Esq. for assistance. Mateo summoned two of his search and rescue apostles, W. Leigh and M. Hinckley, and the team sprang into action. They crossed over the blue ice fields and scaled the craggy mountain peaks before calling out to James and throwing him a life-line. James was dazed and confused but he grabbed onto the rope and began his slow ascent out of the black hole and towards the light at the end of the deep tunnel. This retablo was offered in commemoration of his miracle.

San Francisco, California. 2020

James Eddy gives infinite thanks to Matt Gonzalez, his coach, personal trainer and best friend, for helping him defeat his most formidable opponent.

San Francisco, California, June 2020

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James Eddy gives infinite thanks to his mama for giving him the gift of life.

San Francisco, CA. 2020
James H. Eddy III

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I love dancing Argentinian tango and practiced very hard for a tango competition. At the same time I have a stage fright during competitions. I thank Saint Nicholas with this retablo that I had a very talented tang partner to practice for a few months, my tango skills improved and the competition got canceled.

San Francisco, 2020