Jose Ramos got food poisoning from strawberry jam which he used during sex with his girl. He almost kicked the bucket. He thanks Saint Elias with the present retablo because he has recovered, and he promises to be more careful.

I dedicate this retablo to Saint Bruno with my deep gratitude for someone had invented that pill “Viagra” because it saved my marriage. My husband had issues with erectile dysfunction, but now we are happily enjoy our intimate moments.

Romina Quezada
Saltillo, Coahuila

Susana R. and Joaquin C., domestic servants, were caught by their mistress while having sex on the pool springboard. They thank Saint Francis for they weren’t fired but just ordered to clean everything with bleach.

J. M. loved to dress up like a baby during the intimacy. He thanks Saint Maroun with this retablo for helping him to find a partner who likes to please his fetish.

Gustavo Rodriguez was a priest but he fell into sin and had sex with a parishioner. He thanks Saint Peter with the present retablo because he got courage to quit the priesthood, and his life has become more peaceful.

Concepcion B. was caught by her boyfriend while having sexual conversations on her cell phone with another man. She thanks Saint Rita with this retablo for nothing serious happened and he forgave her.

Raul Perez bought an inflatable doll for his shenanigans but his pals found out about it and he became a laughingstock for everybody. He thanks Saint Pancras with this retablo bessie thanks to this he managed to get rid of his fetish and now goes out with real women.

R. M. had a desire to get involved with a stranger. That’s why she attended a masquerade orgy, but it got her a venereal infection. She thanks Saint Elias with this retablo for she has been cured.

Rosa Jimenes fell in love with a microbus driver. With this retablo, she thanks Saint Pancras for she finally made love with him in his unit.

Because of my overweight, it was always a problem when my husband and I used to get intimate, since he’s thin and I crashed him. One night I was getting so excited I almost suffocated him when I got on top. I give thanks to Saint Pancras because I’m losing weight now. Otherwise, I’m afraid I would have got serious problems in my marriage because of my excessive pounds.

The company I worked for many years got rid of me because of my age. I didn’t know how to occupy myself or how to support myself since I wasn’t married. Then I had an idea to use my savings to open a sex shop. I thank Saint Martin the Cavalryman for my shop had a great success. I don’t care what the people say or think—it’s an honest job.

Josefina Castillo — Puebla, Mexico

R. M. was feeling very lonely. She ordered a stripper and slept with him. She thanks Saint Elias with this retablo for she didn’t get any infection and promises to not be so lewd.

Blessed Souls of the Purgatory. To them I dedicate this retablo because when we were making love in a chemical toilet at the Corona Capital festival and tried to make a selfie, the phone fell down. We started to look for it but realized it fell down the hole. We couldn’t recover it. It sucked—it was her phone. Uff… Lucky it wasn’t mine.

Grateful Mexican
October 2014