I thank the Holy Virgin of Fatima and dedicate her this retablo because the paternity test verified that Vicentico is my biological son. There were some rumors around the neighborhood that he has a big head and dark eyes like my neighbor Armando does. But now nobody will mock me anymore.

I thank my dear Saint Rita another time. Although my husband lost his interest and doesn’t watch our refrigerator with me for hours, I managed to persuade our son Miguel to keep me company. I also want to thank the saint for we renovated the kitchen.

Thanks to the Virgin Mary I got an amazing gas-guzzler Hummer Limousine.

I thank my Saint Guardian Angel, because despite all my dirty thoughts, nothing happened between me and my secretary Elena, when we were on a business trip and had to stay in the same room in the hotel on the night of August 14.

Thanks to my dear Saint Vincent Ferrer for helping me to speak English.

Benito Gomez

I dedicate this retablo to the Lord Jesus Christ because thanks to him our uncle Alfred turned into a bull and now he will not bother us anymore.

Oaxaca, 1969

I, Ambrosio Fernandez, town hall secretary of the Torreón city, dedicate this retablo to Saint Fermin because our town is proud to be the birthplace of Ricardo Montalban, a great actor from «Fantasy Island», «Hawaii Five-O», «Columbo», «Dynasty», «Star Trek», «The Colbys», «The Love Boat», «Ironside» and many other great TV series.

I thank the Virgin of the Immaculate Conception for two things. First, for helping me to find a wonderful job. I became a maid in the house of a very rich lady. She pays me well. Second, when she is out I can try on all her shoes, blouses and skirts.

I dedicate this humble retablo to the Infant Jesus of Prague because when I was addicted to drugs I was spending my days sniffing cocaine and chatting with my buddies in internet. Now it’s been three days since I’m clean.

We thank Saint de Porres for a wonderful idea to instal a transparent mirror in our sitting-room. Now we can spy on the Durans when they come over for the dinner. We suspect they steal our silver dinnerware.

I thank Christ of the Victory because my guitar is my best friend and I play it unceasingly at night.

I thank my dear Saint Dominic for giving me courage to decide on a sex change and to perform french songs with my guitar. Now I’m going on a tour to Mexico and the north of Guatemala.