I thank Christ of the Cross for helping me to get a job in the drapery department in “El Encanto”, although I know nothing about fabrics. Here I meet pretty women to conquer.

I dedicate this retablo to Saint Cornelia because I had a car accident but nothing at all happened to me or to my car, in fact it runs much smoother now.

Oaxaca, December 1979

Up until that day I had not been a believer, but the signs were too clear to be ignored and the poodle was cute.

I dedicate this retablo to the Virgin Mary for helping me pick a gorgeus patent leather bikini online that looks great on me.

Acapulco, 3 March 2007

I thank Saint Clare because I met a fellow countryman with a sufficiently pretty and big truck so I can put on my sister, my wife, my eight children and even my goat during the parade in my town Villa Escalante.

We thank the Infant Jesus of Prague because my husband swapped really bad fields with a black oil river for the gringo’s car.

I dedicate this retablo to the Virgin Mary because I don’t have a hairy back anymore thanks to electrolysis.

I’m very glad since I’m singing in the shower again because I found a very good soap with a wonderful aroma that deodorizes my body’s bad smell after the boxing matches in the Coliseo Azteca.

The 4th day of January Dora fell ill with ulcer but Our Lord of Mercy took care of the problem.

It was a clear sign from heaven that the Virgin Mary appeared right when father John started unbuttoning his Roman Catholic cassock.

I dedicate this retablo to the Virgin of Carmel because ever since I was little I wanted to be a man, in spite of being born a girl. Thanks to the Virgin I decided to leave my husband and my kids and to move to the capital where I started to work as a lift attendant in a luxurious skyscraper.

I, Ataulfo Contreras, give thanks to the Merciful Lord for saving me from a terrible attack of hiccups that happened with me after I had eaten some spicy food.

I dedicate this retablo to Saint Martha and to my dear doctor Guillen, who prescribed me a fabulous German medicine that cured me from these horrible growing hairs with pus that I had in my left armpit.