I, Pedro Fuentes, and all my crew thank the Virgin Protectress for we managed to disembark safely 30 tons of cocaine coming from Cali at the beach of Mazatlan.

March 4, 1988

Thanks to the Immaculate Virgin, I finally found a very good and very handsome doctor who prescribed me a very good American medicine without alcohol. It cured this ugly ingrown hair under my right armpit that had turned into a cyst. I’m very happy it’s gone without leaving any mark on my skin.

I thank the Virgin of the Valley because now I can stop worrying about this crafty Carlos—my little daughter Carmen’s boyfriend whom I don’t trust for a moment—putting his hands all over my girl. Now I’m playing maracas at the parties and I don’t loose him for a second while they dance.

My dear Christ of the Sacromonte always helps me when I’m in trouble with my wife’s family.

I finally got an electric lawn mower with a single rotating blade thanks to Holy Jesus Christ.

I thank Saint Rita for helping me to save money for a California King bed. Now I can put two men in my bed at once without feeling cramped.

I dedicate this retablo to the Miraculous Virgin. She helped me to find a puppet to do ventriloquism. I named it Johnny The Little Gringo. With him I have a successful tour through whole South Jalisco.

I thank Christ of the Palm because when I was bedridden my friends arrived to perform an exorcism on me.

My husband and I dedicate this retablo to Carlos Manuel Rodriguez Santiago. When I got sick in 1981, I was diagnosed with incurable malign lymphoma. We went to Boston for treatment but kept praying to Saint Charlie Rodriguez every day and night. Two weeks later, just before the treatment, doctors checked me again and didn’t find any trace of lymphoma. They couldn’t explain the miracle of my healing.

Up until that magic night, driving down state road 45 in Albuquerque, I had been a self absorbed materialistic and vain son of a gun… Then I saw the majestic figure of the Virgin Mary and my life made a 180 degree turn for the better.

For my first salary I ordered this retablo. I dedicate it to the Virgin of the Miracles. I loved high heel shoes ever since I was little. But our family was so poor that sometimes we had nothing to eat. I’ve just got a job in an excellent shoe store in the capital.

This retablo is for the Miraculous Virgin because she helped me to get a stable job in a bar in the capital. Besides that I don’t need to wake up early to scrub the floors, I receive good tips dancing for the clients and playing the marimbas naked.

I dedicate this retablo to the Lord of Ameca because I fell into a caldron with boiling oil but nothing bad happened with me.