We thank the Virgin of Guadalupe because we managed to collect enough money to but a new needle for our record player. So now we can listen that album we have all the day on Sundays.

Hidalgo, March 1962

Thanks to Saint Ursula I found the perfect 24-feet fiberglass masonic hand.

I thank the Virgin of Candelaria because without her help I wouldn’t have been able to convince this pig my husband to burn his dirty collection of photos of naked women which he had been hiding very well.

Everything looked normal in my dream until Saint Rita of Cascia appeared holding the largest bottle of whiskey I had even seen.

Our Lady of Lourdes miraculously appeared at the precise moment they were suspending my social media account for some sensitive content.

I dedicate this retablo to the holy Virgin of Lourdes. Since I was a little girl I had my little dog called Lassy whom I loved greatly. She died at 18 years old. I thank the Virgin for I found a very good and cheap taxidermist who turned my Lassy back to me in three weeks, and she looked as if she were still alive.

Thanks to Jesus my wife got up from the bed and let me sleep in peace.

We thank Saint Jonas because we created a mixture of yoga and latin dance and we are going to open a couple of locations in Eastern New Jersey.

I, don Alejandro Sotogrande, offer this retablo to the Virgin of the Holy Heart because thanks to her divine intervention I was able to beat this fool Faustino Rondo in cards and win all his property and his cattle. Now I’m the richest landowner in the whole Sonora.

I thank the Virgin of Perpetual Help for helping me to get chosen into the figure skating team of the Pantitlan neighborhood despite of being slightly overweight and blind since birth. With Virgin’s help we will beat the crafty ones from Tlauac.

I dedicate this retablo to the Virgin of the Immaculate Conception hoping she will help me to do well at my new job oaf announcer on television. Sometimes I get nervous, begin to stutter and sweat a lot. I hope my bosses at the Canal 4 would be pleased with me.

I dedicate this retablo to the Christ of Medinacelli for being lucky to survive a very horrible railroad accident in which all others died.

My dear Saint Francis of Paola always helps us to get some corn for tortillas.