I thank the Lord Jesus, because I only broke my index finger nail after a very scary accident with my horse in Guadalajara, Mexico.

I was being told that because I’m so fat I’d be an old maid forever. It saddened me, so I prayed to Saint Antony for a lover who’d love me for who I am. He fulfilled my wish, and now my Pepe makes me happy. He asked me for marriage with a serenade, and all my friends were envy. They always criticized me, but it was me who got married first.

Hipolita Hernandez, Guadalajara

Rogaciano, Panfilo and Silverio Jimenez give infinite thanks to Saint Raymond Nonnatus for reconciling with each other. Because of the rumors spread by the fiancée of one of them, they had had such a violent quarrel they didn’t recognize each other as brothers. But then they discovered that it was a lie of that troublemaker woman.

Guadalajara, Jalisco

Thanks to the Archangel of Justice because “Guadalajara” won The Classic match against “América” with all its damn foreign players. My father-in-law threw me out from his bar because I won the bet against him and now he’s going to shave his head. But I’m cool to celebrate this victory here because I’m a real “Chivas” fan in my heart.

Notes:
“América” and “Guadalajara” (commonly known as “Chivas” (goats in spanish) because of the goat-mascot) are Mexican professional football clubs. “The Classic” is a football match between them.

My bed became possessed by a devil who arrived every night to sleep in it. And I had to sleep in the living room in a very uncomfortable position because I didn’t know what to do. Until one night my cat saw the devil’s tail and tried to eat it thinking it was a snake. My cat bit it, and the devil jumped out of the bed screaming like hell. After that he never came back. I thank the Virgin of Zapopan for giving my bed back because it has such a soft mattress that I bought in Guadalajara.