Thanks, Brown-skin Virgin, for making so that Marcela doesn’t want to whiten her skin any longer with the creams that say they help to make her white-skin. I’m proud to be brown-skin, and Marcela is too now, and I’m very much grateful.

I, Crecencio Soto, pay, with this retablo, the Virgin of Guadalupe for having worked a miracle of not being drowned by a mermaid who enchanted me with her beauty and wanted to make little mermaids with me.

Cancun, 1980

I dedicate this retablo to the Brown-skin Mother because, although I’m ugly, I’m a big hit with my clients. I have a lot of work, and I already brought my mommy from the village. We live very well, and I pray to stay safe and healthy every night.

Sagrario Ortiz — Mexico City, 2004

Infinite thanks to Saint Lizzo patron saint of curves for blessing us all with her performances that celebrate curves, & for inspiring other big babes to love their own hot curves.

Take fresh hot bread, salty, sweet and with butter.

I offer this exvoto to Saint Jude Thaddeus as dispensation for having broken my promise not to eat sweet pastry. I beg his pardon because if not it’d be easier for me to change my religion then to give up pastry. I beg for pardon doña Conchita Madalena whom I’ve promised to have a great body this year.

2021, Mexico City

I thank God and Saint Thomas Aquinas for I was removed from my bed to become the main grace of the circus. Because I was rescued like Rapunzel, now I have a job and I could get out of my depression showing that God loves everything that exists.

I dedicate this retablo with my image for the miracle of the Miraculous Virgin because thanks to her I won the lottery and went to a doctor who removed a very ugly wart from my face. Also, I’ve bought a toupée for my bald spot and have lost 3 pounds from more than hundred I’m overweight.

Thank you, Virgin, because you made me with light eyes. Thanks to that they let me in the clubs right away, I got a nice job and have a lot of chicks. Not like my poor brother whom you made with dark eyes.

Give me strength, Saint Jude, to get in a good shape with the exercise.

Eva Limon

I had a very low self-esteem because I had no butt. My friends were laughing at me lacking curves and were giving me nicknames. I thank Saint Charbel because I managed to save enough money for my implants. Now I feel myself very attractive with my new butt, my friends are jealous of me and I have a lot of suitors.

Leonor Lara — Iztapalapa, Mexico City

I’m thanking Saint John Bosco with this simple retablo because my girl friends don’t know my secret. They are so beautiful, and I lied them that I’m a gay to be near them. In this way I can stay with them all day, gawking at them, hugging them, and they don’t suspect that they attract me.

Javi Valencia
Puerto Vallarta, Jalisco

Venus, goddess of love & beauty to keep me inspired and passionate. Never let me forget to notice the wondrous beauty all around me.

When I was 15 years old, I was very much worried about my appearance. One day I was walking down the street near a troop of soldiers. The officer saw me and ordered: “Eyes right!” And they all turned their heads in my direction! Since then I have lost all my complexes. Thanks to my Guardian Angel for sending me this officer.