Almost all women in our family have beards. That’s why my sister and I thought that we were going to be circus phenomenons until we retire and then we would marry weird ugly men like our aunts did. Our circus routine had a big success because besides wearing beards we were very cute and funny. But we weren’t happy. One day thank to the Virgin of San Juan we found out about depilation. We got rid of our beards and married handsome men. We do not work in circus anymore.

I thank Saint Dominic who helped me to join a famous gym and work on my muscles. Now I can give pleasure to my beautiful girls.

Oaxaca
January 23, 1953

Angelica Robles thanks the Virgin of Guadalupe with this retablo because her tits finally grew in and now she attracts many men in the town.

I thank the Virgin Mary because the ugly pimple on my armpit has finally vanished without blemishes.

The Martinez sisters, Graciela and Alicia, were so beautiful that one day when they were coming back home through the cemetery, the dead men came out their graves and followed the girls flirting with them and giving them compliments. The girls, however, got scared and ran away. But the dead kept following them. So then the sisters prayed to Saint Barbara, and she appeared protecting them from the skeletons. The saint ordered the dead to go back to the cemetery, and the disappointed skeletons walked to their graves. The Martinez sisters thank the saint for this miracle.

I dedicate this retablo to Saint Teresa for giving me an idea to sign up for Zumba aerobics class in a gym. And now, after only three months, my legs and my booty have become more firm.

I thank Saint Jude because I was able to save some money to enlarge my boobs.

Elsi Camara

I was watering the flowers on the roof when I fell down with flowerpots. While I was falling down I noticed the most handsome man in the world in a window. He must have been an angel sent by the Holy Cross to save me because nothing serious happened with me and I didn’t even get bruises..

I thank Saint Jude for giving me the will to lose two sizes.

Carmela Lozano

My wife couldn’t fit in her clothes. She was distressed, and she put us all on a diet of salad and carrots. Water was the only think we could drink. I suffered a lot because I love food. I prayed to the Virgin of Zapopan so that my wife would give us more food. Thanks to the Virgin she noticed that she lost too much weight in her legs, her most attractive feature. So she finally began to feed us well. I offer this retablo to the Holy Virgin.

I thank you, Virgin of Carmel, for giving me this body with which I have a job and no end of clients.

La China
Oaxaca, Mexico, 1978

My beauty drove the men mad. One day Rodrigo and Martin got in a fight over me and almost killed each other. I didn’t want to be a cause of troubles so I prayed to the Virgin of Zapopan. She worked the miracle, and Rodrigo fell in love with another girl. And I began dating Martin, whom I always liked more.

I dedicate this retablo to the Virgin Mary because I don’t have a hairy back anymore thanks to electrolysis.