I’m a big fan of selfies. The other day, I went to the zoo and thought it’d be cool to make a selfie with a lion and upload it on Facebook without realizing how dangerous it could be to have a lion so close. I bring this retablo to Saint Anthony the Great because thank to my phone’s flash the giant cat got scared and didn’t do anything to me. I promise to be more responsible while making photos.

Alex Ríos
Monterrey, Nuevo León

I thank the Virgin of Candelaria because without her help I wouldn’t have been able to convince this pig my husband to burn his dirty collection of photos of naked women which he had been hiding very well.

Raquel Robledo thanks Saint Thomas Aquinas because she was chosen for the central poster in a gentlemen’s magazine and they made beautiful photos with her.

After few beers in the bar, on my way back home, I went to thickets to take a leak. Then an UFO landed right next to me. I was scared of being disintegrated by the UFO’s crew or something worse, but thank God they came in peace.

I am offering to Saint Arthur, free of charge, a nice framed photograph of myself and lady Diana.

San Sebastian, I offer you this retablo, because Veronica agreed to live with me. We thank to you for our happiness. Now we can live without hiding our relationship.

Silvia
Lomas de Chapultepec, Mexico
February 14, 1987

I thank the Virgin of the Well, because when I saw her curves and shapes I gained a better understanding of lines and angles.

Your slave Lu
March 2014

How wonderful I managed to fucking leave Juan Alfredo. And now I can do pilates, coaching, yoga, family constellations therapy, bikram yoga, speeding. I can take homeopathic medicine, sit on the maple syrup diet and talk with my slutty girlfriends about all this stuff.

Your slave Deliria Fastidio (Delirious Irritated).

The writing on the arm: «Berlusconi, I love you.»

We thank Saint Rosary because we managed to cast out the devil of lust from Lupita, although he got in me right away, and it went even worse.

Juan Luis
Mexico, March 21, 2014

Thank you, Saint Lucy, for endowing me with these eyes that are after women and men. Your slave Giulia.

March 27, 2014

I dedicate this photo to Saint Anthony of Padua as a gratitude for the miracle he worked for me when Maria Lupita finally gave me a proper kiss.

Oscar
Mexico, March 2014

We have been friends, Saint Dymphna, but from now on I want to be different. I want to be a rich man with mustache who walks in park with his labrador thinking about important business deals and seduces young housemaids from East Europe, same as I was before.

Yours again
Svetlana
Barcelona, 2014

I thank Saint Florian, because, through the flames, I discovered the ice in the Juan Luis Alberto’s heart in time.

Forever yours. Anita. 2014.