I thank Saint Francis of Assisi because during all this time I haven’t received anything more serious than small cuts and bruises caused by my godfather known as Elvis the Knife Thrower. In spite of improving his act, he still has to practice a lot. And I keep living in fear.

I offer this retablo to Saint Rose. I decided to visit very famous lesbian tattoo artist in Tijuana to make a surprise for my husband’s birthday. But when my hubby saw my body all covered in tattoos he freaked out and kicked me out. He didn’t want to know me anymore. But the most amazing thing was that after this I came back to Tijuana and went to the lesbian artist with whom I had already started falling in love. Now we’re living and making tattoos together.

I thank Our Lady of Sienna because my toy dog chihuahua was highly rated by “The American Kennel Club” and by the “Federation Cynologique Internationale”.

We just got the most amazing all in one combination broiler money can buy thanks to Saint Peter.

Thank you to the Lord of Milwaukee because I can finally flip a chicken fajita omelette effortlessly without incidents.

My husband Genaro and I dedicate this retablo to the Holy Heart. Our daughter Sonia had pains in her stomach. The doctor said she had drunk too much Coca-cola. I had to look the other side and my husband covered his mouth with the hand to not laugh at the doctor’s toupée.

Our Lady of Censorship.

I dedicate this retablo to the Virgin Protectress thanking her for I finally got an automatic 8-mm Kodak camera. It has an electronic sensor which tells the exposure automatically. Scene by scene, I can shoot films with rich colors without any worries. The f/1.6 lens gives a bright bokeh, and with every roll of film I get up to 40 scenes of normal duration. I really enjoy my camera.

I dedicate this retablo to the Virgin Mary because I found a contact in the black market so I can exchange at a pretty good rate all the Jamaican dollars I had into sterling pounds, a much stronger and safer currency.

It took me almost 40 years to get my own swan pedal boat but Saint Crispin helped me.

I thank Our Lady of Sienna because I escaped from a vicious ape with only minor injuries.

We thank the Virgin Mary for helping us select the best gym.

I am grateful because I found briefs that are tailored to fit my figure and give me the comfortable protection I surely need when playing with my offspring.