Every time my husband and I went to the beach, he always stared at the girls in bikini. I couldn’t stand it. I thank Saint Charbel because my husband stopped being a creepy old man and now I have no problems going on vacation with him.

Inés Benavides
Cancun, Quintana Roo

Hector Aguilar, a bowling player, got distracted by a hot girl and dropped the ball on his feet. He thanks Saint Pancras for the recovery and promises not to flirt anymore. Besides he’s married.

The Martinez sisters, Graciela and Alicia, were so beautiful that one day when they were coming back home through the cemetery, the dead men came out their graves and followed the girls flirting with them and giving them compliments. The girls, however, got scared and ran away. But the dead kept following them. So then the sisters prayed to Saint Barbara, and she appeared protecting them from the skeletons. The saint ordered the dead to go back to the cemetery, and the disappointed skeletons walked to their graves. The Martinez sisters thank the saint for this miracle.

My daughter’s suitors were getting stranger and stranger. I doubted if they were from this planet. Thanks to the Virgin, now she’s dating a nice guy who looks normal.

Virgin, help me and make my tits bigger so I would have a lot of boyfriends.

Luisa Gomez, 1991

I thank miraculous Saint Anthony because since I prayed novena I have such an effect on the girls that they even fight for going out with me.

Panfilo Vergara Reyes de la Bondojo
Mexico City, 1964

I had some bad luck. I didn’t even sniff a chick for a few months. But I prayed to Saint Engratia, and I met a very hot sexy blond at a dinner. And it went very well with her.

The wrestler Golden Pheasant thanks Saint Maroun with this retablo for the success he’s had with so many groupies and for he hasn’t caught any infection.

I thank the Virgin of Guadalupe for viagra. It let me keep enjoying the life and women.

Jesus Medina
Mexico City — January 19, 2000

Francisco Rivera loved spying on the girls through a hole in the toilet. But one day he payed for that when he was pricked in an eye. He thanks the Virgin of the Solitude for he didn’t go blind and promises to mend his ways.

What a surprise, Saint Jude, that I met Ellen this sultry summer.

Zulma Anibal

I thank Christ of the Cross for helping me to get a job in the drapery department in “El Encanto”, although I know nothing about fabrics. Here I meet pretty women to conquer.

Thank you very much, Mother Meera, for three girls in a row rejected me so I decided to become a monk and now I live happy forever in your Ashram.

Ben R. — 2007