I thank the Virgin of the Pillar for protecting me and my fellow Miguel when we were quietly sailing and a very big boat appeared and almost ploughed into us. Luckily we survived to tell about it.

I dedicate this retablo in gratitude to Saint Benedict for giving me courage to decide to inject hormones. And now I have very soft skin, nice tits and very sweet voice so I could conquer all guys in Oaxaca.

With this retablo, I thank the Holy Virgin of the Bright Star because thanks to my prayers I found a very good and economic detergent of the “Sutil” brand that removes all the piss and poop stains from the sheets of my daughter Lupe.

I dedicate this retablo to the Virgin of Los Remedios because thanks to her blessed intervention the lead majorette of our neighborhood group got sick with stomach pain and diarrhea, so now it’s me who is going to carry the baton at the Saint Anselm Day parade.

I dedicate this retablo to Saint Pacras because with his help I could find a costume which I think is from Russia. With this costume, I won the first prize at the holiday party in honor of the patroness of Queretaro.

Thanks to Saint Gertrude we found a huge fish to be photographed next to so we can tell our friends we caught it.

I thank the Lord because I got a job in a local circus and I don’t have any outstanding warrants for my arrest.

I didn’t understand my dream at all but it looked a lot like one of those Mexican retablos with a guy on a hospital bed with a doctor and a nurse by his side and Jesus Christ crucified to the left.

Thanks to the Lord Jesus Christ I met a very handsome man need Luis.

I thank my dear Virgin of the Rosary. When I got out of the prison I went to Yucatan where I met a very nice man who offered me a drink. Now I have a place to live.

I dedicate this retablo to the Holy Guardian Angel because it’s been few days since I noticed that my wife stopped hiding the tequila in the coffee can. Before she used to get drunk and we were thinking she was having breakfast with a cup of harmless and tasty coffee while it was delicious and expensive tequila she was drinking.

Thanks to Almighty Jesus I got a car. It’s used but in pretty good condition.

I thank Saint Francis and dedicate this retablo because Arturo, the most handsome guy in our neighborhood, finally decided to dance with meat the disco because I had been worrying and had begun to think that he might be into the guys.