— tagged with “tequila”

We went to visit our friends. My buddy and I drank tequila while our wives were gossiping about the people in the village. We were coming back late and saw the devil chasing us, of course because we had been bad. In fear we implored Saint Michale the Archangel, and he came to save us from the demon because he knew we weren’t bad people but just that night. The Archangel scared the devil and his horse away and sent them back to hell.

I dedicate this retablo to the Holy Guardian Angel because it’s been few days since I noticed that my wife stopped hiding the tequila in the coffee can. Before she used to get drunk and we were thinking she was having breakfast with a cup of harmless and tasty coffee while it was delicious and expensive tequila she was drinking.

There was a girl whom I liked very much. But I was scared to tell her. So one night I went to the bar to drink some tequila in order to have courage. Then I went to sing her a serenade, but I was so drunk I got a wrong balcony and sang it to the old maiden of the town. I give thanks to Saint Rita because neither she nor her family recognized me, otherwise, if I had kept singing, they would’ve married me. I promise to be brave in declaring my love feelings to a woman.

Serapio Herrada
Tehuacan, Puebla

Every time my colleagues and I went to sing serenades I used to pass a couple of tequilas to warm up my voice. But lately I was going out of hand with it to the extent of coming drunk and spoiling the serenades. I thank the Virgin of Zapopan because my colleagues gave me another opportunity, and I promised them to become an abstinent mariachi again.

Saturnino Fernandez
Zapopan, Jalisco

Catarino Menendes was going through the cemetery and met his mother-in-law’s soul. She wanted to grab him, so he prayed Saint Jude for protection. The old witch didn’t get him, and he thanks for this mayor favor although he lost his sombrero hat and his bottle of tequila.

Puebla, 1915

The other night my friend and I went to the bar to drink some tequilas. But we lost control, and after a while got so drunk and sentimental talking about our fails in love that when we realized what was going on we were very close one to another and ready to kiss. We thank Saint Raymond for we have our conscience back and didn’t do it. We have stayed being friends as always.

Juan N. and Silverio S.

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Virgin of Guadalupe, it was the most beautiful scene I’d ever seen. I went to the beach to swim and saw two beautiful mermaids. One was singing like an angel, and the other one was in love. I don’t want to drink tequila ever again.

Amador Ramirez
Carmen beach — January 2, 1976

I give infinite thanks to the Holy Child of Plateros for healing me after damned pain in my stomach. When I started to drink Coca-Cola and Pepsi-Cola the gas and the cocaine contained in these soft drinks caused a pain in my stomach. I felt myself more and more terrible and I asked the Holy Child of Plateros to heal me. Now I’m healthy again. I work in the bar in Salinas and drink only tequila.

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Mauricio Gallegos had some shots of tequila in the town. On his way back home he rode his horse and, since it was very dark, hit a wasp nest. The insects were furious. They got out and start stinging him. He thanks Saint Quiteria for she gave extra speed to his horse so it ran like the wind to the river. They submerged in it and saved themselves from the wasp stings. They got only few stings.

My husband started to kick and gesticulate in his sleep. Sometimes he even pushed me of the bed. I had no idea how to calm him down until one day my neighbor recommended to give him valerian tea with tequila. Now my hubby sleeps like an angel. I give thanks to the Virgin of San Juan.

I thank Saint Beatrice because I found a tequila that doesn’t give me a horrible headache when I wake up in the morning.

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