The thing I love the most is to walk around the forest and be together with the animals. When I was sick and bedridden I couldn’t go visit them and I missed them a lot. The Virgin of Guadalupe worked the miracle, and one day I woke up as the forest came to my bedroom. I was surrounded by my friends who came to visit me. I thank for this miracle.

A devil took my bed in possession at nights. I had no means to get rid of him and slept badly on the sofa in the living-room. I was praying to Saint Michael the Archangel for help. He was late a little bit, but then he illuminated me. I got an idea to wet my broom with holy water and brandish it against the devil who ran away through the window from the blessed broom and never came back. I give thanks for taking my bed back.

Everyone thinks that I just lie in bed and do nothing. In fact, I imagine new paintings. Thanks to my Guardian Angel who don’t let me be lazy!

Saint Raymond, thank you because my buddy didn’t notice me under his bed where I hid myself avoiding a trouble to be seen with his wife when he arrived home. I offer you this retablo for the received favor. I ask you for forgiveness and swear to avoid such situation that insults our friendship, because to insult a friend is to insult for ever <...>

Carlota Valdez got slightly sick and went to bed early. Suddenly she saw that she was being attacked by red devils who began to torture her with their tridents. She prayed to the Virgin of Zapopan, and the Virgin sent a group of angels to chase the devils away. The devils ran away scared of their luminous presence.

I loved to date many women at the same time. But one of them remained very hurt and did a witchcraft on me so I couldn’t perform in bed. I prayed to Saint Benedict to help me break this bad spell. Thanks to his divine intervention I was back to be the same man as I’d had before. I promise him not to play with ladies’ feelings anymore.

Augusto Ruiz — Saltillo, Coahuila

I, Jesus, thank you, St. Eek Yordick, for delivering me from dying. My lover’s husband caught us in the middle of lovemaking, and from the eight bullets he shot seven got to my lover and one hit the wall. I promise not to get involve with married women whose husbands have pistols.

I thank the Virgin of Zapopan for having sent me the warning about a hailstorm coming. Having this presentiment, I had time to put all my animals inside the house. Otherwise, they would have suffered and got sick outside. Together we passed a calm night, warm and safe.

I’m a very open-minded man and—I may admit—I’m a very good at performing the romantic ballads. I sing them with much sensuality. But when after my concert three homosexual martians came to my bedroom telling they love me I had enough. I got scared and prayed Saint Michael the Archangel for help. Thanks to the Archangel the martians were satisfied with a couple of songs and my autographs on their CDs and photos. Finally they went away, although I literally had to push them out because they wanted to kiss me.

Happy and thankful, I dedicate the present retablo to you, Virgin of Guadalupe, because viagra appeared in my life and this painful illness disappeared. Now I can satisfy my wife in bed as she likes it. My marriage is saved. In my age, I tried viagra, and we both enjoyed pleasure of it. We are very happy in our intimate life. Viva la Viagra!

Señor Chan
Santa Fe, Mexico City, 1999

I give thanks to the Holy Virgin of the Solitude because Joaquin, my lover, could escape before my husband arrived avoiding a trouble. Now I appreciate my husband, and, from the bottom of my heart, I ask for forgiveness.

Mexico City, April 15, 1974
Gloria Lua M.

Soul in Purgatory, I thank you because my old man Isabelo didn’t notice Sancho hiding under the bed. He didn’t see him, because he is cross-eyed. I, Norma Nava R., thank you.

Mexico, 1984

Since my wife started her diet, she began sleepwalking at nights. She went to the kitchen and brought cookies, cakes and fruits in the bed. When she finished chewing this, she went to take more. In the mornings she thought it was me who brought all the food. She was very angry with me and didn’t believe me when I said it was her who brought everything. I thank the Virgin because my wife finished her diet because it didn’t work and she was even gaining weight instead. She stopped sleepwalking, and now I sleep calmly.