Felipe Ortega loved to get naked in front of the women on the street until one day he was caught by his willy and thrown in jail. He thanks Saint Pancras because he will receive treatment, although he got 10 years.

I dedicate this retablo to the Lord of Mercy to help me cure my husband because for the last two moths he thinks he is Adolf Hitler.

Ceurnava, Mexico, 1977

Gustavo Robledo thought that the tea made by his girlfriend was very strange. Then he found out it contained urine. He thanks Saint Raymond for noticing it in time and got rid of that crazy woman.

A horde of naguals was passing by the field. I thank the Virgin for I didn’t go mad.

Irma, 1971

Since my daughter was left by her boyfriend who went to a hairdresser, she really lost her mind. I felt pity for her seeing her all disheveled—because of the hairdresser she hated the combs. But thanks to my prayers to the Virgin of Zapopan my daughter began to come to her mind. Now she is alright.

June 15, 1968, I was buying vegetables at the market, when a crazy woman stole my baby. I was crying desperately and prayed to the Virgin of San Juan. I was lucky because two market women caught that crazy woman and brought my baby back. I thank the saint patroness.

Teresa Martinez de Rodriguez

Six years after I became a widow, I married a prosperous watchmaker. But then I, being very nervous and accustomed to the silence, went crazy because of constant ticking and beating of dozens of clocks. I couldn’t sleep and I was always stressed. I even had a nervous breakdown. I thank the Virgin of Zapopan because my husband, who loves me very much, noticed my anxiety and took all those damned clocks from the house to his workshop.

After having a very high fever, my husband imagined himself as a superhero from comics. He tried to fly to save the world. I was afraid he’d going to kill himself and I prayed to Saint Peter Martyr. Saint patron of the lunatics, thank you for my husband is back to reason so I don’t have to run after him to the roofs to stop him from flying. Although when he becomes very affectionate at night, he enjoys putting his superhero costume on.

Antonio Mendoza was walking and selling sweets in order to cover his family’s expenses. One day a furious mad woman answered the door and started to chase him with a knife. He thanks the Virgin of Zapopan because she was just about a few inches from him trying to kill him. He was able to escape from that madwoman, with great difficulty, and to save his own life.

My husband’s first wife was totally mad. She died. But when I married him her ghost began to appear everywhere, even in the tureen. She scared me a lot. But thanks to the requiem mass and to my prayers to the Virgin of Guadalupe her soul rests in peace now. And I feel much more comfortable.

I was afraid of the dark since childhood. I couldn’t overcome it. One day I went to the cellar to get some oil, and the door was shut by a whiff of air. I was locked in the cellar. I couldn’t get out. It was dark, I started to see angry eyes, sharp fangs and hands that were about to grab me. I was losing my mind. Then I started to pray to the Holy Child of Atocha who became a light of sanity for me until my daughter came back and unlocked me.

Virgin, help me with Ramiro who never leaves his room.

How wonderful I managed to fucking leave Juan Alfredo. And now I can do pilates, coaching, yoga, family constellations therapy, bikram yoga, speeding. I can take homeopathic medicine, sit on the maple syrup diet and talk with my slutty girlfriends about all this stuff.

Your slave Deliria Fastidio (Delirious Irritated).

The writing on the arm: «Berlusconi, I love you.»