Thank God for the blonde let me get to third base.

Gino Rubert
Mexico City, December 2014

Ernesto Romero and Elvira J. were caught by the police while having sex in a car. They thank Saint Charbel with this retablo for the policeman was kind enough to let them go.

The sisters M. and R. loved having sex in the public baths until one day they both caught a severe infection. They thank Saint Martha for healing and promise to be less slutty.

Cesar Morales used to sleep with the daughter of a farmer. But one day the father caught them and pierced a Cesar’s leg by the pitchfork. He thanks Saint James with this retablo for healing.

Juanito M. and Marta S. were caught fucking at the church bell tower. The people wanted to lynch them. They thank Saint Pancras with this retablo for nothing serious happened.

M. and J. were having sex at the river, and his mother caught them. They thank Saint Charbel with this retablo for nobody else saw them.

I thank the Sea Goddess for helping me to meet dear Elke, a Swedish tourist, who is on vacation in Acapulco with her family. I’ve already slept with her mom and her dad. So now it’s her turn.

The other night, my boyfriend and I were making love. My mother heard the noise and almost caught us. I thank the Lord of Chalma because my boyfriend managed to hide himself in time and she didn’t notice him. I promise to be a good girl.

Calixta Perez, 1976

I thank Our Lord Jesus Christ for delivering me from those nightmares. I had this dream when the Death came to me and raped me. I was desperate but Our Lord miraculously saved me from this horror.

Amanda Cruz Perez
Xochimilco, Mexico City, 1957

I ordered this retablo to Saint Jude Thaddeus as I had promised. It was my first time and I’ll never forget it. I was 17 and I knew how to use condom for protection from infection. I had a lot of fun with a prostitute. When I saw how voluptuous she was, I was aching to go in hotel with her. It happened in Sulivan, Mexico, on Friday, August 16, 2002.

Thank you dear God for being sweet and warm when you could have been bitter and cold.

Barcelona — January 25, 2014

Pedro Munguia and Rosa L. were caught having sex in shower. They thank Saint Raymond with this retablo for they were pardoned, and now they’re going to get married.

I prayed to the Virgin of Guadalupe so much for saving me from these terrible nightmares. I was suffering from a repeated dream about being brutally raped by devils. The Virgin heard my prayers and now I sleep calmly and peacefully. I dedicate this retablo in order to thank the Virgin.

San Antonio Aguas Calientes, 1959