With this retablo I, Juan Luis (write with pencil), and Stefani (she writes with red color) are thanking you for the miracle on day 12, month 12, year 2013, at the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe. If it were not your mediation, we could beat each other to death. Stefani got furious because I drank her last booze and left nothing to her. So she started to beat on my head with her rosary.

And after that we made love.

Mexico City
December 12, 2013

With this drawing your slave Juan Luis Rubert wants to thank you, Saint Francis, for the miracle. My dog Sandy bit the doña Mariela Luisiana del Corral’s big toe. I cared about the wounded woman with all my devotion, in your constant presence, Saint Francis. At that moment her husband arrived and witnessed this scene. He got furious and killed the dog but left Mariela Luisiana del Corral to me for ever.

Cuernavaca, Mexico
December 2013

I dedicate this drawing to the Virgin of Guadalupe in her Day, December 12, 2013, as sign of my eternal gratitude for showing me that despite my wife Maria Virginia de Sosisoxitl being incapable to cook neither ceviche nor pozole, she still can be very good at the kitchen… and dirty.

I ordered this retablo to Saint Diego as I had promised. It was my first time and I’ll never forget it. I was 17 and I used condom for protection from infection. I had a lot of fun with a prostitute. When I saw how voluptuous she was I couldn’t control myself and went in hotel with her. It happened in Sulivan, Mexico on Friday, August 16, 2002.

A. P. M.

Juan Carlos and Sara love to have sex covering themselves with chocolate. But one day she caught an infection. Since no remedy helped her, she prayed to Saint Patrick. With his help she got cured. She thanks for that.

Every night Alicia Montoya had a dream about a devil raping her. She prayed to Saint Patrick, and the nightmares stopped. She thanks for that with this retablo.

I offer this retablo to Saint Raymond Nonnatus. I’m lucky because my wife at home doesn’t know about my affairs, and she’ll forgive me if she find out about my secret pleasures.

Mr. Felt
Mexico City
June 10, 2003

Catalina M. had a marvelous idea to film herself and her boyfriend having sex. But the scumbag put it on the internet. Catalina thanks Saint Sabinus (?) because she found out and deleted the video. She hopes to overcome this trauma.

Maria R. loved to be asphyxiated by her partner during the sex. She became so addicted to this, that one day he almost killed her. Maria gives thanks to Saint Pancras with this retablo for passing through this stage.

I thank the Virgin of Guadalupe because on my first intercourse with my boyfriend, I found the love and the happiness I dreamt of with the love of my life. Bless our love for ever, I’m asking you from the bottom of my heart.

Concha P.
February 14, 2000
Mexico City

Yolanda Ramos played spin the bottle. As a result, she got naked and having sex with a stranger who gave her a disease. Yolanda thanks Saint Martha for the recovery and promises not to drink anymore.

Gregorio Andrade and Patricia R. enjoyed having sex in the convertible. But one day they were caught by police and got arrested. They thank Saint Patrick because the punishment wasn’t very severe and they promise to amend their ways.

With this drawing, your slave Juan Luis thanks you, Virgin of Guadalupe, for teaching him new tricks to please his wife, who already was making eyes at the neighbor Raul and others.