My husband and I decided to add more variety to our married life. My husband’s idea was very adventurous and reckless. He wanted to jump on me from the wardrobe, like Tarzan. It cost me some bruises and I couldn’t catch my breath for a while. I thank the Virgin of Guadalupe for my husband refrains from these dangerous role plays. Now we are experimenting only with aromatic oils and other pleasant things.

Virgin, help me and make my tits bigger so I would have a lot of boyfriends.

Luisa Gomez, 1991

I give thanks to Saint Anthony for giving me enough strength so this rotten bastard who broke into my house got what he deserved. He was so scared he dropped his gun he threatened me with. I thank with this retablo.

Josefina Santillan
Mexico, 1973

The writing on the sweater says «rat».

A. B. had problems with flatulence and she was terrified to have a boyfriend because of that. She is infinitely grateful to Saint Anthony with this retablo because he sent her a boyfriend who didn’t care about stinking. Moreover, he even likes when she farts right in his face.

M. R. and J. A, were fucking in the cemetery, and suddenly they were attacked by skeletons. They thank Saint Charbel with this retablo for they managed to escape. They promise to be more respectful.

Petra Sanches was making a mole on her kitchen and in the moment when she was grinding chili pepper she accidentally caught her tit in the mortar. She bruised it badly, and she implored to Saint Paschal and got cured. She gives thanks with this retablo.

Puebla, 1925

I thank Jesus Christ because bastards who attacked and violently raped me didn’t kill me and didn’t infect me with AIDS. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ with this retablo.

Monica Torres Avila
Guadalajara, Jalisco, 1971

Teresa Ramos participated in an amateur striptease contest. She thank Saint James with this retablo for she won and she was named the Striptease Queen. Now she has offers from the best clubs.

The wrestler Golden Pheasant thanks Saint Maroun with this retablo for the success he’s had with so many groupies and for he hasn’t caught any infection.

R. S. was very picky about the young men and chose only handsome ones. But one day a horny fat man showed her what it means to be a good lover. She thanks Saint Anthony with this retablo for she met such a tremendous man.

Virgin, thank you for saving me from a nightmare with black birds.

Maria

What a surprise, Saint Jude, that I met Ellen this sultry summer.

Zulma Anibal

I thank Saint Jude because I was able to save some money to enlarge my boobs.

Elsi Camara