We dedicate this retablo to the Captive Lord because our daughters, Olga and Elena, forgave us after they had found the adoption certificates which we had been keeping hidden because none of the girls had known they were orphans.

I’ve ordered this retablo dedicated to my Virgin of Carmen (Lady of Mount Carmel) because since I became a widow my house needed a lot of repairs. But I met a very good man in the store. And he didn’t charge me for changing the window in the room of my daughter Rosita. She also liked him very much.

I thank the Virgin of Chapi because, although I didn’t find a cure for my rare disease that made my skin elastic, I found a job on a carnival. I have a very nice routine and I am known as “The man with the rubber skin”.

I was on summer vacation in Acapulco, and I went to dive. As usual, I had a bad luck and my foot got stuck in corals. Thank God, no less than the Mexican Scuba Diving Champion was passing near by. He was gallant enough to offer me his oxygen tank, and now he’s going to marry me.

Rafael Lujan mounted on a stubborn stallion and rode it to the edge of the ravine. He couldn’t restrain the stallion, and in this dangerous moment he invoked the Virgin Mary. She saved him from certain death, although he lost the hat.

I dedicate this retablo to the Infant Jesus of Prague. I always wanted to have an Italian costume to honor my ancestors. Finally I found one at a garage sale. And now I proudly wear it in every possible occasion.

With respect and adoration I dedicate the retablo to San Isidro because, apart from the fact that I was named «Man of the Year» in Mexico, I discovered «Milk of Magnesia» to neutralize heartburn caused by excess of alcohol, cigarettes and food. Now, when I smoke, drink or come back from a party, I go for the triple action of «Milk of Magnesia»: antacid, laxative and depurant.

I dedicate this retablo to Saint Fermin because my company transferred me to the telemarketing department. So, now that I don’t have to deal face to face with the customers, I am able to proudly wear the fattest diamond grillz money can buy.

Thunder, please… tell me all you know about Jesus…

Thanks to Saint Helen I can play a bunch of Fleetwood Mac songs much better than my husband.

I thank the Lord for allowing some folks to find meaning in their lives by complaining, censoring and reporting others.

I, Armando del Fresno, thank my dear Saint Anthony of Padua and dedicate this retablo to him for giving me courage to decide to reveal to my friends and relatives that I am a nudist. They accepted me for who I am. Now we meet and have tremendous parties every week.

I thank the Lord Jesus, because I only broke my index finger nail after a very scary accident with my horse in Guadalajara, Mexico.