Thank you Lord that I didn’t have to pay a reward as Moth came back after two months. He’s got dysentery and one ear missing but he’s now home and I won’t kick him anymore when he pees in my Christian Dior coat.

Steph. 2007

A demon got in my room through the window and began to put my clothes on. He spent the night looking at himself in the mirror. I was scared and very insulted because all my clothes smelt like sulphur. Then I got an idea to take the mirror to the henhouse. Thanks to the Virgin of Zapopan, the devil didn’t come back. Now he visits my neighbor’s room because she smells like sulphur and she has a very beautiful mirror.

My wife couldn’t fit in her clothes. She was distressed, and she put us all on a diet of salad and carrots. Water was the only think we could drink. I suffered a lot because I love food. I prayed to the Virgin of Zapopan so that my wife would give us more food. Thanks to the Virgin she noticed that she lost too much weight in her legs, her most attractive feature. So she finally began to feed us well. I offer this retablo to the Holy Virgin.

Some kind of naughty devils possessed my dresser. They crumpled my clothes and made holes in my stockings and underwear. I prayed to the Virgin of Guadalupe for a divine intervention. With the Virgin’s help and with a bottle of holy water I managed to get rid of the devils. However, sometimes I sprinkle holy water on my clothes so they wouldn’t come back.

My husband bought a little house in a place far away from the civilization. The place was very beautiful, with a lot of wild animals. But the bad things started when it turned out that the monkeys wanted to become our friends. They became a real plague. They stole the clothes when I did my laundry, they pulled our hair, took our food, they were everywhere, and soon enough my children became to behave like the monkeys. I thank the Virgin of the Solitude because my husband got another job and we had to move to Jalapa. Here I even have a washing machine and no monkeys.

I dedicate this retablo to the Virgin Mary for helping me pick a gorgeus patent leather bikini online that looks great on me.

Acapulco, 3 March 2007

When I came out of my house to go to the church to marry my beloved Juan, I slipped on a banana peel that one of my sisters had thrown on the ground. There were a lot of puddles around because it had rained the night before, but the Virgin of Zapopan worked the miracle so I fell at the dry spot and didn’t soil my dress. To ruin my wedding dress few minutes before the most important moment of my life would’ve been horrible. I thank the Virgin because everything went well and I got married without problems.

After having a very high fever, my husband imagined himself as a superhero from comics. He tried to fly to save the world. I was afraid he’d going to kill himself and I prayed to Saint Peter Martyr. Saint patron of the lunatics, thank you for my husband is back to reason so I don’t have to run after him to the roofs to stop him from flying. Although when he becomes very affectionate at night, he enjoys putting his superhero costume on.

My children’s socks disappeared in a suspicious and alarming way—there was only one sock missing in every pair. I didn’t know what to do. I bought them more socks, but some time later they also had only one sock from every pair. But then, one night, I heard some noises from under the bed. I looked there and I saw blue demons, who turned out to be responsible for the socks disappearance. I thank the Virgin of Zapopan for an idea to sprinkle the holy water under the beds. Now my kids have entire pairs of socks because the demons went away in fright.

It was a clear sign from heaven that the Virgin Mary appeared right when father John started unbuttoning his Roman Catholic cassock.

In gratitude to my sales supervisor whose carelessness helped me to collect thousands of euro in few months. I’ll spend these money on brand clothing and other good stuff. I dedicate this ex-voto.

September 2003
B. Pureza Metella Cunha

I thank San Miguel, my patron saint, for saving me from being bitten by a very large venomous rattlesnake. It was a very close call. I remember the day very clearly. I was wearing my brand new blue jeans, and I was looking at the distant rain storm. When the snake struck, my hear almost pounded of my chest, & I nearly became ill with “susto”, fright sickness.

2008

The boy Sergio Gutierrez gives thanks to Saint Juan Bosco with this retablo because his parents bought him the Batman costume that he always wanted. Now he is the sensation of the neighborhood.