Ricardo Suarez took three viagras to impress two chicks with whom he was having a threesome. But then it didn’t get down, and Ricardo ended up in the hospital. He thanks Saint Jude with this retablo for he was helped right in time.

Saint Charbel, I dedicate this retablo to you for healing me from a terrible infection that I caught from a prostitute from a cabaret. I took her in a hotel and spent a night with her. I couldn’t find any remedy, and I was scared that I’d stay impotent for ever. I entrusted myself to you, and now I give thanks for your favor.

Mexico, 1980

Sofia Aguilar couldn’t find a job. Then she had an idea to sell sex toys to her friends. The things have gone very well, and she brings this retablo thanking Saint Jerome.

My husband and I decided to add more variety to our married life. My husband’s idea was very adventurous and reckless. He wanted to jump on me from the wardrobe, like Tarzan. It cost me some bruises and I couldn’t catch my breath for a while. I thank the Virgin of Guadalupe for my husband refrains from these dangerous role plays. Now we are experimenting only with aromatic oils and other pleasant things.

Esperanza Torres loved to run in the corn field to have sex with her boyfriend, until one day they were caught by her mother. Esperanza thanks the Virgin of San Juan for her mother didn’t tell about it to her father and for now she is engaged.

A. B. had problems with flatulence and she was terrified to have a boyfriend because of that. She is infinitely grateful to Saint Anthony with this retablo because he sent her a boyfriend who didn’t care about stinking. Moreover, he even likes when she farts right in his face.

I thank the Virgin of Guadalupe because she miraculously saved me from the horrible nightmares I used to have. I had a dream in which I was raped. Now, thanks to my prayers to the Virgin of Guadalupe, I sleep well.

Isabel Benitez
Chimaltenango, 1976

M. R. and J. A, were fucking in the cemetery, and suddenly they were attacked by skeletons. They thank Saint Charbel with this retablo for they managed to escape. They promise to be more respectful.

I thank Jesus Christ because bastards who attacked and violently raped me didn’t kill me and didn’t infect me with AIDS. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ with this retablo.

Monica Torres Avila
Guadalajara, Jalisco, 1971

R. S. was very picky about the young men and chose only handsome ones. But one day a horny fat man showed her what it means to be a good lover. She thanks Saint Anthony with this retablo for she met such a tremendous man.

Pedro Garcia and Veronica Jimenez were fucking when the refrigerating chamber door closed. They thank Saint Thomas Aquinas with this retablo for their boss saved them in time because they were about to become popsicles.

Raul Chavez couldn’t find a job and dedicated himself to prostitution with women. But one day in husband caught him working on his wife and began shooting at him. He thanks Saint Pancras for he survived and promises to dedicate himself to something else.

Enrique Lopez signed in an erotic club. However, some months later he caught gonorrhea. He brings this retablo to Saint Charbel thanking him for the cure. He promises no to be so crazy.