June 24, right in the middle of the night, the martians abducted my buddy. I’m infinitely grateful to Saint Pancras for they didn’t take me so now I have a clear road with his wife.

Santa Rita, 1927

Rodrigo Guzman came home drunk and without keys. Therefore he got an idea to break a window with his hand but cut himself so badly that he ended up in the hospital. He thanks the Virgin of San Juan for his recovery and promises to cut back on booze.

Isabel E. took a drug and, in her madness, went dancing like crazy on the church tower-bell. She thanks Saint Raymond with this retablo because the priest saved her from the people who wanted to linch her, and she promises to amend.

Raul Fernandez couldn’t find a job and became a porn actor because he is hung like a donkey. With this retablo, he likes to thanks Saint Elias because he’s doing well, although sometimes he comes into conflict with his religion.

Susana Robledo thanks Saint Jerome with this retablo for the success of her buttock augmentation surgery. Now all the men pay her attention because she became very hot.

Leaving the bar, my old man and I met extraterrestrials who wanted to take us to their planet. I thank the Virgin of San Juan for protecting us from these little creatures.

Tlaxcala, 1985

Joaquin Mendez came home and found his dog almost suffocating between the harp’s strings. He entrusted the dog to Saint Anthony the Great and now obrings this retablo thanking for managing to save it.

Don Oton Ruiz, the owner of the bar, was arrested on the charge of sex trafficking. He thanks Saint Jude Thaddeus for the situation was cleared out, and he promises not to hire broads anymore since they only bring problems.

The surfer Jose Perez was about to be eaten by a shark. He prayed Saint Francis and got to the shore safe and sound. He brings the retablo for that.

Gustavo Andrade joined a satanic sect. One day the devil wanted to take Gustavo with him. Gustavo thanks because he came to his senses and Jesus saved him. He promises to dedicate himself to good things and charity.

1915, San Jeremias, my buddy caught me with his wife on a mat. He started to shoot at us. I give infinite thanks to the Holy Child of Atocha who protected me so no bullet hit me. She took them all.

The sailor Roberto Lopez brings this retablo to Saint Charbel thanking him for having protected him from the threat of an UFO that followed them all day.

Tampico, 1979

R. was about to get married when his actual wife appeared, and it was bad. He was accused of bigamy. He thanks Saint Raymond for solving this problem. He did his punishment and promises to amend.