Everyone in our family has a musical talent which we are very proud of. However, we were highly disappointed in our son Mario who hadn’t inherited a good ear for music and is awful in playing the instrument he chose. He hadn’t inherited my wife’s wonderful voice as well. He sings horribly. But his teacher has discovered that he’s a mathematical genius. We thank the Virgin of San Juan for our son has some talent.

When I came back home after visiting my mother I saw some martians in my bedroom. They were drunk with lemonade. It seems that the lemons had had alcohol effect on the martians and they were in deep sleep. When I scream out of fear, they woke up and escaped through the window to their spaceship. On their way they picked up all the lemons from the trees. I thank the Virgin of San Juan for the martians didn’t do anything to me.

Since it was very hot night, I opened the window and turned on my new fan before going to sleep. But two crocodiles thought the fan was an enormous and delicious fly, because of its sound. So they got into my room to get it. I thank the Holy Spirit because I managed to escape from those stupid crocodiles.

Because of our lack of money, I couldn’t build a stable. And every time when it rained, my wife brought the cow inside the house so that it wouldn’t get wet. I hated it because this damned cow used to lick my feet. I prayed to the Holy Virgin to get some money so I could build the stable. The Virgin made me this miracle, and now the cow sleeps outside.

A horde of squirrels invaded the people’s houses. They were eating all the food, but the worst part was that they were smashing and dropping everything around. But thanks to our prayers to Saint Francis, a new restaurant with delicious food was opened in our town. So the squeamish squirrels lost their interest in our houses and went to destroy the restaurant.

I thank the Holy Spirit for guiding me in my peyote trip in the desert and showing me fantastic images and hallucinations, and for having me back in conscience without any harm but with more spiritual knowledge.

Every January 17, I ask my new pupils to bring their pets to the class. Usually there are cats, dogs or some turtle, rat or parakeet. But this year one boy brought a crocodile. I thank the Virgin of San Juan for the animal didn’t attack anybody and the boy’s father took him away as soon as I called him. I grounded the boy for one week for being careless.

We thank Saint Anthony. Although the goat was very stubborn and the piglet wouldn’t walk so we had to carry him, we were able to bring them to the Blessing of Animals.

I’ve always been a romantic person, and I’ve had many disappointments in love. But now I thank saint Anthony because I met the man of my dreams. He’s also very romantic, and his feelings have been hurt as well. I think now we are going to be happy forever, he and I.

The night of May 30, 1949, some guys robbed don Carmelo Medina’s shop taking advantage of his wife being alone. The robbers took all the money they’d earned last month and also grabbed some bottles with expensive liquor. Thanks to the Holy Virgin, the gendarme Natividad was having a meal in the tavern of Lupita who has big eyes and very delicious tacos. He caught the bad guys because they didn’t notice him standing in the shadows. Don Carmelo thanks the Virgin of San Juan.

I thank Saint Anthony for a beautiful wedding. I married a man I love very much and who loves me.

My husband and I thank Saint Michael the Archangel for having blessed us with a pair of twins who are getting healthier and more beautiful with every day. They are our joy.

A squirrel invasion was eating fruits from my trees, and I didn’t know how to get rid of them. I prayed the Virgin of Zapopan so she would drive them away. The generous Virgin made a miracle, and the squirrels went to invade the Nicanor Ramos’ garden and never came back.