I dedicate this retablo to the Lord of Ameca because I fell into a caldron with boiling oil but nothing bad happened with me.

May you be blessed, Virgin of Guadalupe, for the miracle that I survived after being hit be a car. I felt the death close to me, and it scared me a lot, so I swear to not drink again.

Pedro Hernandez, Tacubaya, 1986

December 1920, a Marselina Alvares’ son was hit in the skull and became an idiot. Since no remedy could help him, she implored Saint Pancras. Three days later her son got better, and she’s infinitely thankful for that.

Hueyapan, 1920

E. P. went to a whorehouse and used there the Crazy Lola’s services who rode him so hard that she broke his penis. He thanks Saint Bruno with the present retablo for his recovery and promises to not visit such places anymore.

Gerardo Martinez and Laura Ortiz decided that it would be fun to have sex in the trunk, but by a careless accident they ended up locked inside and had to be rescued. They thank Saint Peter for they didn’t suffocate inside and promise to not go crazy anymore.

During a ballet rehearsal Arturo Lezama lifted up his partner and hurt his back very badly. He gives thanks to Saint Jude for his prompt recovery.

Gregorio fell from the fishing boat and hit his head. He lost his conscience, and when he regained it back he saw two mermaids pulling him in different directions—one to the top and the other to the bottom. That moment he entrusted his life to Saint Raphael the Archangel. He thanks him because the mermaid who pulled to the top won, and he got to the surface where his buddies could grab and save him. Although nobody believed in the mermaid story, he didn’t care because he stayed alive.

I thank the Virgin of the Pillar for protecting me and my fellow Miguel when we were quietly sailing and a very big boat appeared and almost ploughed into us. Luckily we survived to tell about it.

I thank you, White Girl, for pardoning and not taking us, Diego and me, with you on that day of the motorcycle accident when our tire blew out at full speed. Thank you and thank you more, Holy Death, for your protection and for granting us with more time to keep going on a spree with our infinite love—the music.

Gala Xiuhcoatl, Mexico City, 2018

Our donkey on which we were carrying oranges to the town for selling fell down the cliff and couldn’t climb back by itself. We thank the Holy Child of Atocha for giving us—to me and my children—extraordinary strength to pull the donkey up and save him. Besides, we love him very much and he’s like our family member.

I always enjoyed the speed and strong emotions. But then I got in a terrible crash on my motorcycle. I suffered multiple fractures and spent several weeks in the hospital. I dedicate this retablo to Saint Barbara thanking her for that crash because that way I met a gorgeous nurse who made my recovery very pleasant. Now, when I’m recovered I’ve even invited her to go dancing.

Ricardo Salas \ Merida, Yucatan

Agustin Aguilar was connecting a radio antenna when a strong blow of the wind made him fell down. He thanks the Virgin of Guadalupe because his fractures have been healed and he can walk again, although he still has pains in the spine.

Today I’d like to thank Saint Quiteria of Frexeiras because I’m completely recovered after being hit by a car in 1950.

October 2009
Maria Jose Alpuquerque
São Bernardo do Campo, SP