We were on the beach when suddenly a giant octopus came out the sea and was about to grab Mariana with its tentacles. But thanks to the Virgin of Guadalupe the music, that I played on the guitar, distracted the octopus and calmed it down. It listened while we slowly moved away with me keeping playing the octopus’ favorite melody.

Leonardo Gutierrez was performing at the concert for Confederation of Unions and fell in love with a girl who turned out to be the union leader’s girlfriend. Leonardo thanks Saint Cecily for he wasn’t killed and only got both of his legs broken, but the girl stays with him.

This is ex-voto of thanks to the leaders of Soviet revolution. If it hadn’t happened I couldn’t have had highly qualified workers from east for next to nothing. I’ve already had three musicians from Kiev Symphony Orchestra working for me as stevedores carrying cement. Now I have a surgeon working on a crane and two Ukrainian women at the kitchen. They were ballet dancers back in their homeland. They’re nice-looking broads, it’s nothing wrong with their bodies, probably because of gymnastics <…>

My son plays flute so wonderful that all the farm animals dance around him and the birds lay more eggs, and the goats give more milk, and the pigs have more piglets. I thank the Virgin of San Juan for giving my son this magic talent. Thanks to his music our farm prospers.

I had a lot of suitors who ordered serenades for me. Roberto Rodriguez was a mariachi who always performed for me. More he sang more he fell in love with me. And so did I with him. We got married. When we came out of the church, we felt so happy, we started to run. The musicians tried to follow us, but they couldn’t play running. It was so funny. We thank the Blessed Sacrament for a happy wedding.

My daughters love to play flute in the henhouse, because they say it has a good acoustic. The chicken seem to be happier. I’m also happy because they lay more eggs and I have more money selling the eggs.

Florian Schneider, from Kraftwerk, talking to Jesus about electronic music.

I, Luis Villalba Ybañez, dedicate this retablo to Saint Andrew, because, despite of not having a very beautiful voice, I managed to convince the great Moncho, «The Gipsy of the Bolero», to record a LP disc in duo with me. We perform melodic songs on the disc. Also I hope I could go on tour through all South & Central America and the Caribbean.

Moncho (The King of the Bolero, The Gipsy of the Bolero) is a famous Spanish singer of bolero.

Thank you, Virgin of Guadalupe, for helping us with a job. We are having a lot musical performances and have achieved success in other cities.

Josefo and his band “Fellows from Chihuahua”

My husband, who is a musician, bought violins to our daughters. But since he was always on tour, he didn’t know that they hadn’t inherited his pitch and that they played horribly. For me it was a nightmare. I thank the Virgin of Zapopan because some of my husband’s concerts were canceled and he came home. When he heard this infernal music, he took away the violins from the girls. And I finally got some peace.

I sang serenades to my fiancée every week. But when I saw her brother Luis, I realized what my real sexual preferences were. Now it’s he whom I sing serenades to. I thank the Virgin of Zapopan because Luis reciprocates my feelings and his sister forgave us.

The boy Pedro Lopez decided to blow the trumpet right in the ear of his sleeping father causing him hearing damage. The boy thanks Saint Pancras with this retablo for nothing serious happened and he only got whipped with belt.

Concepcion y Refugio Rosales, known as The Little Sparrows, from the bottom of their hearts, dedicate this retablo to the Virgin of the Solitude for endowing them with the gift of singing. Thanks to their voices the can help their family and they are much loved in the town.

Tlaxcala