Andre was at the beat when the men heard a noise outside & found a huge crocodile blocking their exit. He thanks the Blessed Saint Freddy Mercury that everyone escaped without injury & without being arrested for public nudity. He vows to only visit beats far from the waterline in future.

Andre, Darwin, 2019

Federico Mendoza suffered from having a big penis because it scared all the women away. Then he entrusted himself to Saint Anthony whom he brings this retablo in gratitude because the saint made so that Federico finally met a woman who takes it whole.

Thanks for the donkey didn’t catch me.

In the evening I go to a tree and rub my member against it. Forgive me, Virgin.

I, Zuleyma Nava, pay with this exvoto thanking for my Piolo stopped whoring and taking bath and jerking his weener with his friend Cholo. I pay with this in gratitude for fulfilling my request. Thanks.

Mexico City, 1989

Heriberto Salazar got himself in a gym and began to take steroids. He became bulked up pretty quickly, but his genitals got very tiny. He thanks Saint John Bosco very much because with his help he managed to recover them a little. He stopped taking steroids as well.

I thank the Virgin of San Juan for saving my life and for I didn’t get pregnant after being attacked and raped by some villains.

Sofia Garcia Mendez
Mexico City, 1975

Virgin of Guadalupe, thank you for letting me coming through this dangerous sex change surgery. Now I look like a real woman.

Pablo R. “Ivette”, Mexico City
December 12, 2009

Saint Sebastian, we offer you this retablo about our love which was a secret. Now we can scream out loud about it because we got married and are very happy. We thank for being made for each other.

Saul and Tito
February 14, 2008. Polanco, Mexico

Raul Fernandez couldn’t find a job and became a porn actor because he is hung like a donkey. With this retablo, he likes to thanks Saint Elias because he’s doing well, although sometimes he comes into conflict with his religion.

Virgin of Guadalupe, thank you for getting well through this dangerous sex-changing surgery. Although I was born as a man but always felt as a woman inside. Now I’ve became one. With my parents’ support, it doesn’t matter what people say.

Alejandro “La Jasmin”
Condesa, Mexico City
December 12, 2013

The old man Felipe Suarez wanted to go after young chicks and took three viagras. He got it so hard, he had to go to the hospital. He thanks Saint Augustine for his cock didn’t explode and promises to not go crazy with prostitutes.

E. P. went to a whorehouse and used there the Crazy Lola’s services who rode him so hard that she broke his penis. He thanks Saint Bruno with the present retablo for his recovery and promises to not visit such places anymore.