I thank the Virgin of Guadalupe for looking after me and my family during this COVID-19 sanitary contingency and because those from us who got sick were able to get through, thanks to God and the Holy Virgin. Receive this exvoto painted by Espintla, with all his love.

Mexico, 2020

Infinite Thanks to Saint Leasa Mann, who offered to pay the bills of strangers who were struggling because they’d lost shifts or work during Covid. She doesn’t know this but because of her help, I was able to stay in my supportive queer sharehouse, instead of having to move back to country Victoria with my parents, & back into a deep dark closet.

Please paint me clubbing with lots of tattoos, because they are the first two things I’m going to do when lockdown is over.

James Eddy gives infinite thanks to Santa Cecilia, the patroness saint of music and musicians, for giving us Johnny Cash, Mac Miller, The Clash, Chilly Gonzales, Frank Zappa, Nina Simone, The Velvet Underground, Dan Hicks and his Hot Licks, Mose Allison, Radiohead, Hank Williams, Elliot Smith, Cotton Jones, Benjamin Biolay, Sebastian Tellier, Benjamin Francis Leftwich, Los Lobos, Joan Armatrading, Taj Mahal, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Mac DeMarco, Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats, Angus & Julia Stone, Jerry Garcia, The Beatles, Luciano Paverotti, Mick Jagger, Elvis Presley and Elvis Costello, Patsy Cline, Jimmy Hendrix, Robert Plant and Jimmy Page, Dylan, Clapton, Morphine (the band), Lyle Lovett, Dave Brubeck, William Fitzsimmons, Kurt Cobain, Kurt Vile, Paul Simon & Art Garfunkel, Meshell Ndegeocello, Sufjan Stevens, Ry Cooder, Vieux Farka Toure, Coldplay, Willie Nelson, Dr Dre, The Allman Brothers Band, Stevie Nicks, Tom Petty, Doc Watson, Nick Drake, Patricia Barber, Arcade Fire, Tim Hardin, Ella Fitzgerald, Beethoven’s 5th Symphony, 70′s Disco, The Waltz and the Dosey Doe, Louise Eddy on ukulele and Casey Kasem’s Top 40 countdown.

San Francisco, California. February 19, Covid-21

I’d like to thank Saint Emerald who has protected me and didn’t let me die during the quarantine because I didn’t listen anyone and kept going out on the street to sell my products—I deal with an artificial butter from India. With my earnings, I went to secret parties. No neighbor reported us, no police came over, so I could always get laid with the most flexible bodies of my neighborhood and didn’t catch an AIDS. I never wore my mask because I was always confident in Saint Emerald. I kissed people during the 210th [Independence celebration] and in the subway. I didn’t wear gloves or condoms, and the empty city seemed given entirely to my solitude and hangover. Also, I’d like to thank for all the protection given me by the saints because I didn’t follow the protocol and secretly crossed sanitary cordons, and I have never—never—got COVID. I didn’t receive any paycheck, but this day Saint Emerald gave me a candy on the street.

Ultrazone, August 2020

Thank you, Virgin of Guadalupe for covering us with your mantle to protect us from COVID-19 and for giving us fortitude to stay in quarantine.

Aaron & Martin

I dedicate this retablo to Saint Nicholas because we bought a property just before the quarantine began. When there is nowhere to go we kept us sane breaking our backs every weekend in our beloved “quarantine garden”.

Napa Valley, California, 2020

Because of the coronavirus, my husband was left without a job. Now he spends his days behind the computer watching videos on Youtube and video conferencing with his buddies. He doesn’t lift a finger to help me around the house or with our baby, with the excuse that he’s depressed. I beg Saint Jude Thaddeus, with this retablo, to end quickly this quarantine and to make my husband’s depression—as he says—go away so he could go out looking for a job and become responsible again.

Juana Ramirez, Mexico

I thank Saint Pancras for not getting fat in the quarantine, despite eating heartily for several days.

Madrid, May 31, 2020

I have always been a very serious and calm man. But when I got to my 50 I realized I hadn’t enjoyed many pleasures of life. One day I went crazy and fulfilled my fantasy of being with three women at the same time. I’m infinitely grateful to Saint Expeditus for inspiring me to do that because now, when I’m locked up inside in quarantine, it’s comforting to know that, although I was older, it was real fun.

My uncle Pancho and I live in California. One day I returned with groceries for the quarantine and I almost had a heart attack seeing my uncle going to drink a bottle of disinfectant. I thank the Holy Child of Atocha because I arrived in time to stop him, otherwise he would have ended up in the hospital with poisoning, following Donald Trump’s advices.

2020

We beg the Lord of Chalma, from our hearts, to end quickly the quarantine and the COVID-19 virus so that our children could go back to school because we can’t stand being locked up with them any longer. They only cause havoc, and my wife and I are about to explode from the stress.

Raul and Sonia L. — Mexico

One night when I was sitting home in quarantine, the martians invaded my yard. I believe they wanted to conquer our planet because there were many of them and they came with their families. Only my doggy Juanito stayed outside because they said that the pets don’t get the coronavirus. I thank the Holy Heart of Jesus because the martians weren’t immune to the virus and they returned to their home without hurting me.

Saint Expeditus, I ask you with this humble retablo to end this coronavirus pandemic because I miss my secretary Lucy. I cannot see her because of the quarantine, and I’m very desperate being locked in the house with my wife 24 hours a day. If it lasts any longer I’ll go insane.

Mexico, 2020