I offer this retablo to Saint Jude because he saved my father’s hand which he cut when while chopping the meat he turned to look at the legs of a girl. The hand wouldn’t heal. So I prayed you, and it healed.

His son Tono
Tacubaya, Mexico City
October 12, 2005

Because I kept staring at two hot chicks walking down the street I didn’t notice a banana peel. I slipped on it and almost fell into an opened manhole. I thank Saint Charbel who didn’t let me fall into this manhole and break my bones. I promise him not to show off in front of the girls and not to give them the glad eye.

Fulgencio Robledo, 1981

My beauty drove the men mad. One day Rodrigo and Martin got in a fight over me and almost killed each other. I didn’t want to be a cause of troubles so I prayed to the Virgin of Zapopan. She worked the miracle, and Rodrigo fell in love with another girl. And I began dating Martin, whom I always liked more.

Saint Jude, please help me with Chona, who has become a widow.

Inocente Villa

Roberto P. used to spy on his sexy neighbor while she was hanging washing out. One day she noticed him and instead of getting angry she made him her lover. Roberto thanks Saint Charnel with this retablo.

Joaquin Aguilar thanks Saint Jude Thaddeus with this retablo because he won the town domino tournament with his help. The things went so well that he even found a girlfriend.

Petronila Rodriguez loved to flirt with her neighbors. But one day one of them got drunk and got in her bedroom. She thanks Saint Martin for saving her and promises to not be such a coquette.

Juanita Ramos thanks Saint Anthony because she became a professional wrestler’s girlfriend. She feels protected now and very flattered for the attention of people we she walks with him.

The Mendoza sisters were scared by a crocodile when they were swimming in the river. I thank Saint Isidor for the opportunity to watch those three Graces running totally naked. This memory will rejoice me on the lonely nights during my long course of life.

Rosita and Antonia ran across each other when they came out the market. They talked about the handsome boys of the town. Suddenly two skeletons appeared from the abandon house that the girls were standing near by. The skeletons began to flirt with them and to pay compliments. They asked the girls for a date, and the scared girls prayed to the Virgin of Zapopan for saving them. They ran and hid in the church. Afterwards, the sexton, don Abundio, accompanied them to their house. They thank for that.

Leonardo Gutierrez was performing at the concert for Confederation of Unions and fell in love with a girl who turned out to be the union leader’s girlfriend. Leonardo thanks Saint Cecily for he wasn’t killed and only got both of his legs broken, but the girl stays with him.

This is ex-voto of thanks to the leaders of Soviet revolution. If it hadn’t happened I couldn’t have had highly qualified workers from east for next to nothing. I’ve already had three musicians from Kiev Symphony Orchestra working for me as stevedores carrying cement. Now I have a surgeon working on a crane and two Ukrainian women at the kitchen. They were ballet dancers back in their homeland. They’re nice-looking broads, it’s nothing wrong with their bodies, probably because of gymnastics <…>

Thanks to my Guardian Angel I was able to find an inexpensive plan with a phone company that enabled me to speak to my boyfriend’s best friend.