My wife had declared that if I’d ever go to party with my colleagues again I’d be very sorry. But the other night I was invited to a party and I couldn’t refuse. I prayed a lot to Saint Charbel to protect me in his mercy. When I came home, the shrew was in deep sleep and didn’t noticed what time I returned. I bring this humble retablo thanking for such miracle.

Cirilo Peña \ Zacatecas, Mexico

Raquel Garcia dressed up as Wonder Woman for a party and picked up a very handsome man. She testifies her gratitude to Saint Anthony, with this retablo, for her good luck.

I put too much liquor in my punch at the Christmas party in my neighborhood. Since I was getting tipsy, I came where doña Juanita was about to hit the piñata and she gave me such a tremendous blow in the head that I even saw stars. I give thanks to the Virgin of Juquila because nothing serious happened and I only got a lump. I promise not to drink so much on these December holidays.

Lucio Pacheco, Puebla

Unrested souls sometimes appear in don Pepe’s canteen. They drink, dance and sing. You, Virgin of Guadalupe, please make them rest in peace or make them dance and do their rowdy parties somewhere else. The people got used to this and say: there is mezcal for everything good, and for everything bad, as well, and if there’s no remedy, a liter and a half would help. And don Pepe says: the dead into the pits, the living to enjoy. Holy Virgin, let them rest.

Tultepec, state of Mexico

My husband Roman H. S. is a drunkard, womanizer, party goer and gambler. I beg you, Virgin of Guadalupe, deliver him from going to hell.

Infinite Thanks to Saint Leasa Mann, who offered to pay the bills of strangers who were struggling because they’d lost shifts or work during Covid. She doesn’t know this but because of her help, I was able to stay in my supportive queer sharehouse, instead of having to move back to country Victoria with my parents, & back into a deep dark closet.

Please paint me clubbing with lots of tattoos, because they are the first two things I’m going to do when lockdown is over.

Holy Virgin of Guadalupe, we ask you for the unrest souls who some night pass along the embankment, always having parties. My Mother, give them rest and eternal peace.

I’d like to thank Saint Emerald who has protected me and didn’t let me die during the quarantine because I didn’t listen anyone and kept going out on the street to sell my products—I deal with an artificial butter from India. With my earnings, I went to secret parties. No neighbor reported us, no police came over, so I could always get laid with the most flexible bodies of my neighborhood and didn’t catch an AIDS. I never wore my mask because I was always confident in Saint Emerald. I kissed people during the 210th [Independence celebration] and in the subway. I didn’t wear gloves or condoms, and the empty city seemed given entirely to my solitude and hangover. Also, I’d like to thank for all the protection given me by the saints because I didn’t follow the protocol and secretly crossed sanitary cordons, and I have never—never—got COVID. I didn’t receive any paycheck, but this day Saint Emerald gave me a candy on the street.

Ultrazone, August 2020

Unrested souls appear in the pulqueria-bar of don Juan. We beg you, Virgin of Guadalupe, to make them rest. The dead into the pits, the living to enjoy.

At the Christmas party in the neighborhood, I put too much liquor in my punch. Since I was getting tipsy, I came where doña Juanita was about to hit the piñata and she gave me such a tremendous kick in the head that I even saw stars. I give thanks to the Lord of the Wonders because nothing serious happened to me and I only got a lump. I promise not to drink so much on December holidays.

Lucio Pacheco

My husband and I organized the New Year’s Eve party in our house. We all got drunk, and I ended up having sex with my husband’s colleague. I wholeheartedly thank Saint Raymond because my husband has never found out about it. Although I feel remorse, it was an emotional and exciting adventure.

I dedicate this retablo to the Miraculous Virgin of Guadalupe because on my 15-th birthday party, Maria Daniela and Andria performed but at the end of the song they reveled their true vampire identity. Luckily, I have my anti-vampire kit under my dress and I was able to beat them.

Karen, October 29, 2014

The other night I went partying with my friends and had a lot of shots. The next day I woke up in a motel room with an unknown chick. WIth all my heart, I dedicate this humble ex-voto to Saint Benedict thanking him for I didn’t get any sexual disease. I promise not to get laid with persons I’ve just met and not to abuse alcohol.

Leonardo N.