Thank you, Virgin of Guadalupe, for sending me señora Malena with whom I’ve learnt many things.

Pablo Salas

Your slave Gino Robert in Sant Martí d’Empúries, February 2014

Thanks Holy God for being wet-n-slow when you could’ve been quick-n-dry.

Virgin of Carmel, thanks for saving me from being killed by my mother-in-law when she found out that I slept with her daughter before wedding and living together.

Fidel, Oaxaca, Mexico, 1968

Arturo Contreras got involved with a 80-years old woman for her money. He thanks Saint James with the present retablo for, although it cost him a lot of work, but he passed this stage of his life.

M. S. and J. A. were fucking in the elevator, and their boss caught them. They fervently thank Saint Pancras with the present retablo because they only received a money penalty but weren’t fired.

Alejandra R. and Alberto M. were fucking at the cemetery, and the dead attacked them. They thank Saint Jude, with the present retablo, because they managed to escape. They promise not to get in sacred places.

I, Montse Rios, give infinite thanks to the Souls for possessing my cat and telling me that the pie I cooked for my boyfriend Hector was burning.

Mexico City, 2019

Virgin of Carmel, thanks to you I have a boyfriend who pleases me in everything I ask.

Oaxaca, Mexico, 1969

Teacher Pedro Pablo M. got involved with the school principal and they were caught in the action. He gives thanks to the Virgin of Juquila because the union found him work in another place.

The other night I went partying with my friends and had a lot of shots. The next day I woke up in a motel room with an unknown chick. WIth all my heart, I dedicate this humble ex-voto to Saint Benedict thanking him for I didn’t get any sexual disease. I promise not to get laid with persons I’ve just met and not to abuse alcohol.

Leonardo N.

I dedicate this retablo to Juan Diego for avoiding that my buddy caught me making out with his wife, because that damned brown-skin girl is so hot. While at it, I ask you for the strength to make more pirouettes with her, without my buddy seeing me stuck in her pussy.

Roberto Garcia / Veracruz, 2018

I have always been a very serious and calm man. But when I got to my 50 I realized I hadn’t enjoyed many pleasures of life. One day I went crazy and fulfilled my fantasy of being with three women at the same time. I’m infinitely grateful to Saint Expeditus for inspiring me to do that because now, when I’m locked up inside in quarantine, it’s comforting to know that, although I was older, it was real fun.

My boyfriend and I were going adventurous and experimenting with new things. We got an idea to make love on the roof, behind the water tank. But we didn’t figure that a neighbor would go there as well to hang her laundry. I asked Saint Barbara for help, and we got an idea to meow like cats so the neighbor didn’t catch us in act. I give thanks for that.

Karla R. ~ Pachuca, Hidalgo