Julio Estrada loved to dress up like Gene Simmons, and his wife loved his look very much.

Mexico, September, 16, 1988

I, Anastacio Rodriguez C., thank the Virgin of Guadalupe for helping me to achieve the dream of my life to go to the Carnival in Rio de Janeiro to look how the juicy Brazilian girls dance samba. I had been saving money for ten years, and it was worth it. I went as an organ-grinder to the south of the continent.

Mexico
March 4, 2000

To you, Miraculous Virgin of Guadalupe, I offer this retablo thanking for saving my tit when I accidentally got it in my mortar while grinding corn. I was in a terrible pain but you helped me. I also thank you, Saint Paschal Baylon, because despite all this my mole wasn’t bitter and everyone liked it. I give thanks for this favor.

Agustina Perez—Puebla de los Angeles—August 17, 1937

Virgin of Guadalupe, thank you for saving us from a giant spider at the kitchen.

Virginia Salina
Necaxa — July 18, 1940

Lord of Chalma, thank you for saving me another day when I was near the well and skeletons came from it. They wanted to take me with them. I thank you.

Victoriano Diaz
Guanajuato, November 4, 1940

Soul in Purgatory, I thank you because my old man Isabelo didn’t notice Sancho hiding under the bed. He didn’t see him, because he is cross-eyed. I, Norma Nava R., thank you.

Mexico, 1984

Holy Virgin of Guadalupe, although we were soldiers, we were also guadalupans, Mexicans so we entrusted ourselves to you. We fought revolutionaries but we only followed the orders. The 32 battalion from Zacatecas offers you this retablo for helping us when we were surrounded. Although we were outnumbered but you gave us aiming accuracy so the rebels retreated to the mountains. I, Casildo Perez, testify to this.

Zacatecas, October 24, 1914

Pacomio Jimenez thanks for being saved when mermaids-skeletons scared him and almost drowned him.

Veracruz, August 11, 1942

Severino Rodriguez faced a martian who got into his room and defended my woman Gretta with a head-butt.

Mexico — December 9, 1980

Thank you, Virgin of Guadalupe for saving me from my old lady Petronila’s machete, when she furiously attacked me, because I hadn’t been at home for four days, drinking pulque with my buddy El Chipujas. My old lady came and started swinging machete.

Nopaltepec
October 10, 1930

Domitilo Esparanza and Ortencia Carraza thank the Virgin of Guadalupe for curing me from a cold in my bones.

Pachuquilla, March 3, 1937

We thank you, Virgin of Guadalupe, for helping us to get to the United States when we were crossing Rio Bravo. The current was strong, and the river was dragging us so we couldn’t swim. But you helped us, and we got to USA to find job and earn some money to live.

The Martinez family
Los Angeles, California, July 20, 1940

Thank you, The Holy Child of Atocha, because this cuckold my old man Isabelo Recendiz didn’t notice Sancho under the bed. He wanted to kill him but, because he is cross-eyed, he didn’t see him. I, Norma Nava R., give thanks for it with this ex-voto.

Mexico, 27 October 1980