Andre was at the beat when the men heard a noise outside & found a huge crocodile blocking their exit. He thanks the Blessed Saint Freddy Mercury that everyone escaped without injury & without being arrested for public nudity. He vows to only visit beats far from the waterline in future.

Andre, Darwin, 2019

One day at a gig, I was shitting in the toilet but had nothing to clean myself with. Then a french punky called Francoise appeared. He took of his boots and passed me his socks, just at the moment when “Malgobierno” were playing. I’ve never seen him after that. Wherever he is now, I thank him and the band “Kiltro” for taking me through my first club night. I never forget them.

I, dude David (“Trastorno”)
The Okultavio club, 2005

You never forget your first gig.

In the year of 1982, in the City of San Antonio, Jamie Eddy and his friend George Karutz, were home alone with Jamie’s younger brother, Prescott. The boys read that “Super Glue creates an incredibly strong adhesive bond that is nearly unbreakable”. Loctite cyanoacrylate broke the Guinness World Record by lifting a car weighing more than 5 tons with just 9 drops of adhesive. Jamie and George, eager to test the adhesive strength, glued young Prescott to the toilet, where he was discovered by Mr and Mrs Eddy upon returning home later that afternoon. In an effort to quell Prescott’s tears, Mrs Eddy served him ice cream while Mr Eddy raced to the hardware store to procure the necessary solvents to unseat him. Jamie, fearing the worst, petitioned San Felipe Neri, the patron saint of ludicrous pranks and Saint Bartholomew, the patron saint of dermatology, for assistance. He knew his prayer had been heard when the bond was broken and Prescott was emancipated. James Eddy painted this retablo to commemorate the miracle which occurred 39 years ago. Executed this ninth day of February 2021 in the City of San Francisco.

I thank God and his mother, Virgin of the Rosary of Talpa. It was March 1995, we were going to Talpa, and, before Cruz de Romero, there is a spot on a curve which we used for our physical needs. It was the dawn, and, although there was a beautiful moon, it was difficult to see. I went away to find an appropriate place and suddenly felt that I was being pulled to the cliff. It was a strong pull of my entire body, clothes and moreover my hair. I implored the Virgin and asked my companions for help. They saved me from a secure death right away. I dedicate this retablo in gratitude.

Alejandrina Q. de Navarro
February, 2000

Teofilo Martinez’ canary, which was very important to him, was stolen while he went to the bar to take a leak. He implored Saint John Bosco and the next day found the bird. He’s happy to be with it and gives thanks.

Puebla, 1945

Blessed Souls of the Purgatory. To them I dedicate this retablo because when we were making love in a chemical toilet at the Corona Capital festival and tried to make a selfie, the phone fell down. We started to look for it but realized it fell down the hole. We couldn’t recover it. It sucked—it was her phone. Uff… Lucky it wasn’t mine.

Grateful Mexican
October 2014

Young Gustavo T. masturbated a lot in the toilet with erotic magazines until one day he was caught by his boss. Gustavo thanks, with great devotion, Saint Maroun for he was only fired and not humiliated in front of everybody.

Fernando Ramirez had a marvelous idea to smuggle cocaine in his stomach. But the customs officers found out about it and made him to expel it. Fernando gives thanks to Saint Elias because he found an excellent and influent attorney so he would get out of prison soon.

Marcelo Gutierrez was repairing a toilet drainage when suddenly a stream of dirty water hit him in the face. He thanks Saint Elias with this retablo for he didn’t caught any serious infection.

We went to the grandfather’s ranch. There was no toilet in the house, so we had to go to use the latrine at the corral. That night, my daughters went there, and they saw a horrible ghost on their way. The poor children got sick from terror. I prayed to the Virgin of San Juan, and thanks to her the girls recovered from the fright very quickly.

Francisco Rivera loved spying on the girls through a hole in the toilet. But one day he payed for that when he was pricked in an eye. He thanks the Virgin of the Solitude for he didn’t go blind and promises to mend his ways.

Alfredo Gutierrez thanks the Lord of Chalma for giving him a strong diarrhea, because of what he was late for his work as a waiter in a restaurant in the Twin Towers in New York. So he was saved from dying.

September 11, 2011

Humberto Galindo was drunk. He went to the latrine and fell down. He thanks Saint Charbel because he escaped with nothing worse than a fright and had no infection. Although he smelled of shit for two days.