I, Sonia Hernandez, give thanks because my husband Pablo Reyes has approved my relationship with my martian lover and now three of us can live happily in love.

Mexico City, 2020

Andre was at the beat when the men heard a noise outside & found a huge crocodile blocking their exit. He thanks the Blessed Saint Freddy Mercury that everyone escaped without injury & without being arrested for public nudity. He vows to only visit beats far from the waterline in future.

Andre, Darwin, 2019

I dedicate this humble retablo to Saint John Bosco thanking him for finding a job as a painter of naked female models. The truth is I can’t paint but I convinced the gallery owner that I have a very abstract and modernist style. So now, apart of making money, I also delight my eyes with the beautiful models.

Gaspar Aguilar \ Queretaro, Mexico

Thanks to you, Virgin of Guadalupe, my wife agreed to pose naked for my paintings, and thanks to that I won the artist contest and a scholarship.

Rogelio, Oaxaca, Mexico, 1967

Marcos Urieta’s wife cheated on him with his friend. He did nothing to those two but threw them out naked in the street.

Mexico, 1979

On my way back from work, I was kidnapped by some bastards. Finding myself in a deadly danger, I entrusted myself to God asking him not to let something bad happen to me. I was able to untie myself and, with their first slip-up, ran away. I didn’t care that I was naked, because in that way I saved my life.

Damaris M.
Santa Fe, Mexico, February 10, 2015

Angelica G. had a fantasy of walking naked through the city streets. She thanks Saint Bruno with this retablo because her city celebrated a naked bike ride.

Pancracio Arcos was obsessed with buying magazines with poor women—those who can’t even buy them clothes so they pose naked. He was scared seeing that all his salary goes into this and asked Sain Expeditus for help. He stopped buying them, and now he’s buying Power Rangers magazines instead.

I liked my neighbor very much, and we had a secret affair because she was married. To see each other, we took advantage of her husband often going to business trips. But the other night he suddenly came home. I had to jump out naked through the window so he wouldn’t see me. I thank Saint Charles Borromeo for no one saw me and I could get home. I promise not to get involved with married women anymore.

Facundo R. — Leon, Guanajuato

Gabriel(a) Ramirez brings this retablo thanking for her husband’s ghost doesn’t come to her anymore, because she was very frightened.

Mexico City, 1989

I give thanks to the Virgin of Guadalupe who finally worked a miracle for me and liberated me from that voyeur neighbor who was always spying on me when I showered.

Señorita Angelica Moreno
Mexico City, 1971

Catarino Carmona was spying on Jasinta swimming naked in the river. But then came her odious father and started shooting at him. He thanks Saint Elias with this retablo because no bullet hit him.

Puebla, 1914

When Jasinta Ramirez was swimming in the river, two chaneques appeared and chased her. She implored Saint Jude and, despite being in her bare skin, arrived safely to her hut. She thanks for that bringing this retablo.

Puebla, 1918

Notes:
Chaneque are legendary creatures in Mexican folklore. They are conceived of as small, sprite-like beings, elemental forces and guardians of nature.